tag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:/blogs/all-things-new?p=2All things new!2020-05-14T14:09:01-04:00Singing Heart to Heartfalsetag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/63162862020-05-14T14:09:01-04:002020-05-14T14:09:44-04:00Music and Nature: Food for the Soul and the Brain<p>Ever read or see something and think – I just have to share that? Happens to me all the time. Maybe it’s the teacher in me. Anyway… </p>
<p>This post includes two things I am so excited to share with you. </p>
<p><em><strong>“Music lies at the very essence of our humanity because it enables the level of social bonding that distinguishes us from other species. From lullabies sung from a parent to their infant, to mass jam sessions online, we can all turn to song to maintain our sanity, our hope, and our empathy toward one another.”</strong></em> </p>
<p><strong>The quote above is from a great article called</strong> <a contents="Lockdown singing: The science of why music helps us connect in isolation" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://theconversation.com/lockdown-singing-the-science-of-why-music-helps-us-connect-in-isolation-137312?fbclid=IwAR0JKx08kc6S6nwKew0WNhe1gyDHgLY3PzH-mpd4Yh1eKBWzohNfIHR_cTE#_=_" target="_blank"><strong><em>Lockdown singing: The science of why music helps us connect in isolation</em></strong></a>. It explains why singing together is so important for human beings, <em>especially when we are experiencing isolation</em>. It talks about how our drive to connect is strong and how our social brain responds so well to singing together. It’s a quick and important read. </p>
<p><strong>The second thing I’m excited to share is a <a contents="new and very special nature video" data-link-label="FREE SING ALONG VIDEOS" data-link-type="page" href="/free-sing-along-videos" target="_blank">new and very special nature video</a> created and set to music by our song leader Frank Youngman</strong>. Frank is a very talented photographer and he has been watching and photographing an <strong>owl family</strong> that lives in the woods near his home. I’ve been following it on Frank’s Facebook page and thought you might like it too. It’s been quite an adventure! One of the baby owls fell out of the nest. To keep it safe, Frank built a box nest for it and attached it to the tree. He then gently and quickly placed the baby owl in the new nest. Thankfully, the mother and father didn’t seem to mind and they visit both nests feeding all three babies. The babies are getting ready to fledge soon so maybe we’ll get to see another video as they leave the nest. Enjoy!</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/62264052020-02-24T20:33:04-05:002020-02-24T20:33:04-05:00The Power of Music in Early-Onset Dementia. Meet my friend Brian.<p>Meet my friend Brian. </p>
<p>Brian is a musician and a music lover, a public speaker, an advocate, and all around fun guy. </p>
<p>Brian has Early-onset Alzheimer’s. (So do about 200,000 other Americans.) </p>
<p>Thankfully, organizations such as the <a contents="Dementia Action Alliance" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://daanow.org" target="_blank">Dementia Action Alliance</a>, <a contents="Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://teepasnow.com" target="_blank">Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care</a> and others understand how important it is to hear from, interact with and learn from people who are actually living with dementia. So that’s how I met Brian. </p>
<p>Last June I had the opportunity to present a session at the Dementia Action Alliance Conference. The title: Music: From Entertainment to Engagement. Brian was my co-presenter. </p>
<p>I’m thrilled that this video has been made, giving Brian the opportunity to share his story about the power of music in his life. </p>
<p>Brian’s voice is an important one. I hope you will take just a few minutes to meet Brian and learn from him.</p>
<p>Watch Brian's video <a contents="HERE." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwRQwyadq5Q&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank"><strong>HERE.</strong></a></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/62178172020-02-17T09:38:39-05:002020-02-17T09:38:39-05:00May I help you?<p><strong>Does this sound like you?</strong> </p>
<p>For starters, you probably enjoy music. Let’s face it. Almost everyone does. </p>
<p>You may have someone in your life – either personally or professionally – who is living with dementia. </p>
<p>You could be a family member, a care partner, a neighbor, or a friend. Maybe you are a CNA, a nurse, a Life Enrichment Professional, a home health aide, a manager or an owner of a senior living community. </p>
<p>Because you are following Singing Heart to Heart, you understand some of the benefits of using music with elders and with people living with dementia. </p>
<p>If you are caring for someone living with dementia, you may be feeling short on time and energy and wish something could make your job a little easier. </p>
<p>Maybe you wish you could make someone’s day a little brighter, share some joy, have a more meaningful visit. </p>
<p>Maybe you are musically inclined, but maybe you’re not. Either way, you may not quite know how to get started. </p>
<p>Maybe you’ve tried to do some music and didn’t have much luck getting people engaged. But you’re ready and willing to learn and try something new. </p>
<p><strong>Here’s where I come in. </strong></p>
<p>If you’re reading this, you know I’m Mary Sue, the founder of Singing Heart to Heart. </p>
<p>You probably know I’m passionate about the power of music; how it connects people, and how it uniquely touches our hearts and souls. </p>
<p>I’m also passionate about my mission to bring music back into the lives of seniors, especially those who are living with dementia for whom engaging with music can be so beneficial. </p>
<p>I love music, I love to sing, and I love to lead music sessions for seniors. </p>
<p>If you were reading my resume you’d see that I’m a professional musician, a career educator, an author, and an experienced speaker and trainer. Leading dementia care educator Teepa Snow, founder of Positive Approach to Care, endorses my work and she contributed to my book. </p>
<p><strong>But the most important thing you should know about me is that my heart is in my work. I care about bringing music back into the lives of seniors. And I care about you</strong>. </p>
<p>I lead close to 400 music sessions each year. But I can’t be everywhere and there are only so many songs I can sing in a day. </p>
<p>That’s why I’m so glad we are connected. </p>
<p><strong>Because my goal is to help <em>you</em> learn to harness the power of music.</strong> </p>
<p>You don’t have to be me and you don’t have to be a professional musician. </p>
<p>But you do have to do something. </p>
<p><strong>So…May I help you? </strong></p>
<p>Take a look at the list below. Choose something. Commit to learning something new today about how to use music in care. Give it a try and let me know how it goes.</p>
<ul> <li>
<strong>Read</strong> some of the other posts on my <a contents="blog" data-link-label="Blog" data-link-type="page" href="/blog" target="_blank">blog</a> where I share tips and strategies and inspiration. </li> <li>
<strong>Dig into</strong> the rich <a contents="Resource Library" data-link-label="Resource Library" data-link-type="page" href="/resource-library" target="_blank">Resource Library</a> on this website. </li> <li>
<strong>Follow me</strong> on <a contents="Facebook" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungatHeartMusic" target="_blank">Facebook</a> where I share a little bit of this and a little bit of that. </li> <li>
<strong>Listen </strong>to this recent <a contents="podcast" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.facebook.com/AllThingsSeniors/photos/a.140460500707430/151776526242494/?type=3" target="_blank">podcast</a> I recorded with All Things Senior. </li> <li>
<strong>Head over</strong> to the Singing Heart to Heart <a contents="YouTube Channel" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8Mhx0bIjD03YXHsAcwUt-A" target="_blank">YouTube Channel</a> and watch a quick training video </li> <li>
<a contents="Purchase" data-link-label="My Store" data-link-type="page" href="/my-store" target="_blank">Purchase</a> my <strong>book</strong> or one of my <strong>sing along CDs. </strong>
</li> <li>
<strong>Invite me</strong> to <a contents="present" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://s3.amazonaws.com/content.sitezoogle.com/u/183024/0631852eecf75f3421b67948f34d15d915af1347/original/presentations-tri-fold.pdf?response-content-type=application%2Fpdf&X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=AKIAJUKM2ICUMTYS6ISA%2F20200210%2Fus-east-1%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20200210T215555Z&X-Amz-Expires=604800&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&X-Amz-Signature=f10c941eb10fc96c6c865f6856902a9bfc8b5ecdf0758b3ef82c484eb5273484" target="_blank">present</a> at your local conference, community event or staff training. </li> <li>
<strong>Ask me a question</strong>. <a contents="MarySue@SingingHeartToHeart.com" data-link-label="" data-link-type="email" href="mailto:MarySue@SingingHeartToHeart.com" target="_blank">MarySue@SingingHeartToHeart.com</a>
</li>
</ul>
<p> </p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/61711532020-01-24T15:24:52-05:002020-01-24T15:24:52-05:00Grease the Wheels with Music: Using music to motivate<p>Beverly didn’t want to walk down the hall. </p>
<p>The nursing assistant cajoled, she teased, she demanded. </p>
<p>As her frustration grew she even tugged a little bit. </p>
<p>Beverly wasn’t having it. </p>
<p>This scene played out as I arrived for music. </p>
<p>Nursing assistants have a hard job. And I am always looking for ways that I can join their team, help out, and to be honest, model ways to use music to make caregiving easier. </p>
<p>I greeted Beverly warmly, put my arm gently around her shoulder and began to sing I’ve Been Working on the Railroad. </p>
<p><strong>Without asking her to walk with me, we stepped forward together to the beat of the music. </strong></p>
<p>Have you ever had trouble getting folks started, moving from one place to another? Give this simple strategy a try. </p>
<p><strong>As Hans Christian Anderson said “Where words fail, music speaks.”</strong></p>
<p><em>Right after I wrote this blog post I came across this brilliant Ted Talk called <strong><a contents="Music:&nbsp;Medicine for the Brain" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OnOdanlG7E" target="_blank">Music: Medicine for the Brain</a>.</strong> It's only 8 minutes long and so powerful and so hopeful. PLEASE watch it.</em></p>
<p><em>Did you know that you can listen to short clips from all the songs on both of my CDs on my website? Follow this link to check out my new CD <a contents="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old." data-link-label="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old" data-link-type="page" href="/sing-along-with-mary-sue-folk-song-favorites-for-young-and-old" target="_blank">Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old.</a></em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/59885522019-12-02T13:42:50-05:002019-12-02T13:42:50-05:00Did it work?...Part 5 of Plan Like a Pro<p>How’s it going? </p>
<p>Did you plan like a pro? </p>
<p>This week is the final installment in my series Plan Like a Pro. If you missed the first 4 parts you can find them all here on my <a contents="blog page" data-link-label="Blog" data-link-type="page" href="/blog">blog page</a>! </p>
<p>To wrap up this series I have one final question. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>How will you know if your music plan was successful? </strong></p>
<p>Start by reviewing your goal(s). Be aware that there are a range of positive responses – some easy to see and others very subtle. Any one of them could indicate that you have fostered connection, inspired a memory, sparked joy, relieved boredom, assisted with daily activities. Be a good observer and please don’t be too hard on yourself. If things didn’t go exactly as planned, give yourself a pat on the back for trying and keep the music going! </p>
<p><strong>Here are some signs of success you might see. </strong></p>
<ul> <li>People are singing along. Perhaps someone lifts their head up ever so slightly, meeting your gaze. Showing their recognition, you may see someone mouth a few words to a familiar song. </li> <li>People are smiling and nodding their heads. You might witness a few tears, giving you an opportunity to comfort as an emotion is expressed. </li> <li>People might start to dance – in their chairs or on their feet. Or maybe only their toes are tapping. </li> <li>Enthusiastic hand clapping and knee patting begins. Or it may be as subtle as one or two fingers tapping to the beat. </li> <li>Stories will be told, helping you to learn which songs are favorites or hold special memories. </li> <li>If you do music sessions at consistent times, you may begin to find family members showing up at the appointed hour and joining in. </li> <li>You may see other staff stopping by to sing a verse or two. </li> <li>You may see family members and/or staff show surprise and new appreciation and yes, even hope, when people who seem “far away” begin to participate, know the words and join in. </li> <li>You may find managers and development directors begin to plan tours for new families when they know you will be leading a music session. </li> <li>You may find that your activity budget is increased so you have access to more resources! </li> <li>And last but not least…people may simply tell you how happy the music makes them. You may hear remarks like this: “Oh, I haven’t heard that song in forever!” Or “I can’t believe I remembered all the words to that song!” </li>
</ul>
<p>And now I ask you. </p>
<p>What are you seeing? How do you know you’ve met your goal for using music? </p>
<p>Have you run into a snag and need some specific advice? </p>
<p>Do you have a success story to share? </p>
<p>Share your thoughts and experiences with me. (<a contents="MarySue@SingingHeartToHeart.com" data-link-label="" data-link-type="email" href="mailto:MarySue@SingingHeartToHeart.com" target="_blank">MarySue@SingingHeartToHeart.com</a>)</p>
<p>We can all learn from each other and we can all plan like a pro!</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/59660352019-11-19T17:08:16-05:002019-11-19T17:08:16-05:00What's your most valuable resource? Part 4 of Plan Like a Pro<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>What is your most valuable resource? My answer might surprise you. </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Let me tell you a true story. </strong></p>
<p>Years ago I was hired to start a new Events and Activities Department at a huge resort that was going through restructuring. The month before they hired me, the resort had fired 30% of their staff, including the concierge who had always planned events. The staff remaining called it Black Monday. Ugh! </p>
<p>Let’s just say that despite our sunny personalities and friendly demeanor, the three of us in the new department were not immediately popular. We were looked at with suspicion. Some people literally wished we would fail and made no bones about it. It took time and effort, a bowl of chocolate and even a chocolate fountain party to win them over. </p>
<p>To be sure, the chocolate helped a lot. </p>
<p><em>But what helped the most was our effort to understand what their jobs entailed and how we could help them succeed. </em></p>
<p>We went out of our way to learn about what other departments did day to day. And we did our best to introduce them to what we did. We invited them to participate in events. We asked their opinions and sought their advice. </p>
<p>When the other staff realized that our success might actually make their jobs easier (especially the sales department), folks started coming around. </p>
<p>We never did win everyone over. But after a time we became part of the team. </p>
<p><em>The real winners were the guests at the resort. </em></p>
<p>Happier guests impacted everyone; from housekeeping, to security, to wait staff, to front desk. </p>
<p>Can you relate to this? </p>
<p>Have you ever planned a great activity but had trouble getting the residents gathered up to enjoy it because no one was helping you? </p>
<p>Have you ever struggled to get “buy in” from other staff, or budget from management? Maybe they see your job as just fun and games, while theirs is more serious - translation – harder. </p>
<p>You know that others do hard work and I bet you appreciate them. Hosting a party with a chocolate fountain might be a little over the top. But when was the last time you brought them chocolate or thanked them directly? When was the last time you asked their opinion or invited them to one of your activities? </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Your most valuable resource? <br>The other people you work with. </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Working together, the residents you serve will enjoy the full benefit of the power of music. </strong></p>
<p>OK – now that I’ve made that point. Here is a list of other more tangible resources for you to consider. </p>
<p>A good collection of music with a wide variety of genres and styles helps make planning a sing along or individual music experience so much easier. CDs, record albums, digital downloads, songbooks. Check out the Resource list below! <br>A wireless speaker and your tablet or phone will help you provide high quality audio which makes listening easier for people with hearing loss. Having your music stored on your tablet or phone makes it accessible whenever you need to pull a song out of your back pocket. <br>A collection of drums and rhythm instruments will provide hands on experiences and allow your residents to express themselves and feel the beat! Remember rhythm is a retained skill for people living with dementia. <br>A smart TV so you can show YouTube musical videos. Watching Frank Sinatra sing or Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dance is really fun and leads to great discussions. </p>
<p><strong>So back to planning. </strong></p>
<p><strong>What resources (including other people) do you need to make your music plan work? </strong></p>
<p>I hope you consider me as one of your resources. I’m here to help. So let me know what you need.</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/59549682019-11-09T08:11:25-05:002019-11-09T08:11:25-05:00The Nuts and Bolts: Plan Like a Pro Part 3<p>Here we go with Part 3 of my series Plan Like a Pro. In Parts 1 and 2 we focused on the participants and your goals. Knowing who you are planning for and why you are doing something is critical. In case you missed it, you can find those articles in my <a contents="blog" data-link-label="Blog" data-link-type="page" href="/blog" target="_blank">blog</a>.</p>
<p>This week the questions may seem simple. But don’t let that fool you. The information they provide will surely impact your success. </p>
<p>Let’s get started. </p>
<p><strong>What’s going to take place? What are the nuts and bolts of your plan? </strong><br>(psst…Don’t forget - the participants and your goals drive all of these decisions.) </p>
<p><em><strong>What time of day is best?</strong></em> <br>If you are making a plan for an individual who has a hard time waking up in the morning, your plan may be as simple as choosing a lively song they like and using it as a cue that it’s time to get up. It might be something like Oh What a Beautiful Morning or even <em><a contents="You Are My Sunshine" data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart CD" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart-cd" target="_blank">You Are My Sunshine</a></em>. If you are planning a group sing along to foster community and a sense of belonging, you might decide to do it right before lunch when most folks are up and about. </p>
<p><em><strong>How long do you want your music session to be and how often? </strong></em><br>If your plan calls for a morning song cue, the answer is simple – every day for 3-4 minutes. If you are doing a themed music session using recorded music to spark conversation, you might aim for 20 minutes and extend it if interest allows. When I lead group sing alongs I find the sweet spot to be about 45 minutes. <a contents="Both of my CDs" data-link-label="My Store" data-link-type="page" href="/my-store" target="_blank">Both of my CDs</a> are about that length so they can be used for this purpose. </p>
<p><em><strong>What music will you choose? </strong></em><br>Remember – songs of our youth connect us with memories and reach our emotions. Personal taste in music is important too. Are you using music to brighten the day and liven things up? If so, keep the songs upbeat, with some funny songs thrown in for good measure. Do you want the music to soothe and help people relax? A song like the Irish Lullaby soothes because it is a lullaby and because people tend to join in singing which is calming. Do you want the music to inspire movement to decrease boredom and restlessness? Patting the steady beat to a song like <a contents="She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain" data-link-label="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old" data-link-type="page" href="/sing-along-with-mary-sue-folk-song-favorites-for-young-and-old" target="_blank"><em>She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain</em></a> might be a good choice. Don’t reinvent the wheel! Remember the <a contents="song lists in my Resource Library" data-link-label="Song Guides" data-link-type="page" href="/song-guides" target="_blank">song lists in my Resource Library</a> are there to help you. </p>
<p><em><strong>How will you be sharing the music? </strong></em><br>Will you be using records or CDs or music downloads? If so, make a playlist so you’re ready. Will you be the song leader and if so, will you use songbooks? Sometimes songbooks are a distraction, but don’t assume that all people living with dementia can’t read. In fact, even if they no longer read books, some folks may benefit and enjoy reading song lyrics. Which is why I now offer <a contents="a&nbsp;companion songbook to my new Folk Song CD" data-link-label="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old" data-link-type="page" href="/sing-along-with-mary-sue-folk-song-favorites-for-young-and-old" target="_blank">a companion songbook to my new Folk Song CD</a> with easy to read, large, bold print. </p>
<p><em><strong>How will you start and how will you end? </strong></em><br>If this is a one on one interaction, you might arrive to their room for a chat bringing your sweet voice, or your phone with a wireless speaker, or a CD player. You might say “I brought some music for us to enjoy together today.” When I am leading a group I always start with <a contents="Hail Hail the Gang’s All Here" data-link-label="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old" data-link-type="page" href="/sing-along-with-mary-sue-folk-song-favorites-for-young-and-old" target="_blank"><em>Hail Hail the Gang’s All Here</em></a> and I end with <a contents="Goodbye Ladies" data-link-label="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old" data-link-type="page" href="/sing-along-with-mary-sue-folk-song-favorites-for-young-and-old" target="_blank"><em>Goodbye Ladies</em></a>. Starting and ending with the same song each time helps people know what to expect and helps them feel competent. It also creates community and a sense of belonging. </p>
<p>Well that sums it up for this week. As always, please keep in touch and let me know if you have questions or comments. Next week we’ll consider <em><strong>What resources (including other people) do you need to make music happen?</strong></em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/59412452019-10-28T11:17:50-04:002019-10-28T11:18:20-04:00Gold Stars for Goals: Plan Like a Pro Part 2<p>This week we continue the series Plan Like a Pro. In this series I offer questions for you to ponder as well as some simple advice. Great plans lead to success! Last week’s article focused on Who are the participants? In case you missed it, you can find it on my<a contents=" blog" data-link-label="Blog" data-link-type="page" href="/blog" target="_blank"> blog</a>. </p>
<p>Now, on to Part Two… </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>What’s your goal? </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>A good goal is based on what the participants need and what they enjoy. <br>What do individuals need? What does the community need? </strong></p>
<p>This is the most important step in planning a good music session. But don’t let this part of the planning process overwhelm you. In other words – don’t over think it. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Your goals can be simple and they will change and evolve</strong>. </p>
<p>OK – Let’s get started… </p>
<p><em><strong>Are you hoping to build friendships and community through a group sing along? </strong></em><br>Did you ever sing in a church or school choir? If so, you may recall how you felt connected to the other members. Singing and “doing” music together creates a special bond between people. People living in care communities are building new relationships. Music sessions can create a sense of belonging and ease the loneliness of living in a new place. </p>
<p><em><strong>Are you planning daily music sessions as a routine part of your activity program? </strong></em><br>Please say yes! A daily music session does not have to be long or complicated. We know that music is beneficial, so why would we “save it up” for one day of the week? Don’t worry about repetition. For people living with dementia, repetition helps create security and offers them a way to feel competent. Set a tiny goal for yourself to insert a 10 or 15 minute music session into each day. That’s only 4 or 5 songs. All the better if one mini session turns into multiple “mini” sessions throughout the day. </p>
<p><em><strong>Do you want your music session to spark reminiscing and shared memories? </strong></em><br>Music has a unique ability to reach us. Our brains are literally hard wired to connect music with memories. Consider having a small group music session focused on a theme such as a season or a holiday. Other topics might be broader such as transportation or friendship or love. You might only need one or two songs for this. Add props such as seasonal flowers, pictures, objects or record albums linked to the topic. Keep your questions, or discussion starters open ended. Instead of “What was your mother’s name?”, you might say “Tell me about your mother.” Be ready to listen and enjoy all that you will learn. </p>
<p><em><strong>Do you just want residents to have some fun and brighten their day? </strong></em><br>Have you ever turned on music to cheer yourself up? If you’re looking for fun and energy and to brighten someone’s day, then keep your music selections lively and fun. Songs that have a strong steady beat such as <a contents="I’ve Been Working on the Railroad" data-link-label="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old" data-link-type="page" href="/sing-along-with-mary-sue-folk-song-favorites-for-young-and-old" target="_blank"><em>I’ve Been Working on the Railroad</em></a> will help kick things off. Songs like <a contents="Take Me Out to the Ball Game" data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart CD" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart-cd" target="_blank"><em>Take Me Out to the Ball Game</em></a> get everyone involved. Watch for the songs that get toes tapping. Add simple rhythm instruments such as shaky eggs or rhythm sticks. </p>
<p><em><strong>Would you like to offer an intergenerational activity where everyone can feel successful? </strong></em><br>If your goal is to include families, little ones, and people of all ages, my best advice is to choose folk songs. Everyone can join in on funny songs like Old McDonald or She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain. That’s why I made my new CD – <a contents="Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old" data-link-label="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old" data-link-type="page" href="/sing-along-with-mary-sue-folk-song-favorites-for-young-and-old" target="_blank">Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old</a>. And for more on this topic check out this recent blog post: <a contents="Folk Songs: Connecting the Generations" data-link-label="Blog" data-link-type="page" href="/blog" target="_blank">Folk Songs: Connecting the Generations</a>. </p>
<p>OK – Whew! That was a lot wasn’t it? If you’re still reading, rest assured that this is really not that hard. Give it some thought, set a tiny goal for yourself and go! </p>
<p>And remember, I have my teacher’s hat on. Don’t hesitate to get in touch with questions or comments. I don’t give grades. Only gold stars.</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/59335762019-10-21T09:59:08-04:002019-10-21T09:59:08-04:00Plan Like a Pro: Part 1<p>I’m wearing my teacher’s hat today. And I’ll tell you up front - I have serious “hat hair.” I spent decades writing lesson plans as a teacher. Along the way I learned a thing or two. </p>
<p>As a school administrator I observed that the best teachers were the ones who had good plans. (These same great teachers knew when to throw the plan out the window. But that’s a topic for another article.) </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Planning a good music session is a lot like planning a good lesson. </strong></p>
<p>You may not be a teacher, but chances are you have planned something! Maybe it was a party or a field trip or an art activity or even a meal. No matter what you plan, there are some key components that will help lead to success. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>So this week I kick off a new series: <br>Plan Like a Pro </strong></p>
<p>Each installment will offer questions to ponder, food for thought and advice. </p>
<p>Ready? OK - let’s get started with the most basic question you need to answer. Then watch this newsletter for future editions where we will work our way through the other components that make up a good plan. </p>
<p><strong>Who are the participants? What do they need? What do they enjoy? </strong></p>
<p><em><strong>Is this a plan for an individual, a small group or a larger group? </strong></em>The answer to this question will help you know how much you can personalize the experience. For an individual you can create a personalized playlist. For a small group you may be able to add simple props or rhythm instruments. For a large group you may want to stick with singing old favorites that most people will know. </p>
<p><em><strong>Is this a mixed group of people with varying cognitive and/or physical abilities? Or are they all of a similar age and have similar interests and abilities? </strong></em>A mixed group can be challenging. But using simple songs with a chorus that repeats helps everyone have success. You might consider not using a songbook if some of the folks no longer read or people have arthritic hands. You may consider keeping movements focused on the upper body if some of the participants are using a wheelchair. Conversely, if all the participants are country music fans you might decide to do a full blown country music session. </p>
<p><em><strong>How old are the participants? What music was popular when they were between the ages of 10 and 30?</strong></em> It is the music of our youth that tends to “stick with us” and have the most emotional and connecting impact. Knowing how old the folks are will give you a head start as you choose music. There are song lists by decade on my website to help you get started. </p>
<p><em><strong>What do you know about them? Have they shown interest in a certain genre of music? For example – are they country music lovers or do they prefer show tunes? Or is it a mixed bag?</strong></em> In a mixed group you will want to play and/or sing a variety of songs from several genres. And then you need to be a good observer. Take note of songs that seem to reach people or that the group particularly enjoys. Don’t be afraid of repetition. If “Country Roads” is their favorite song, go ahead and use it often. </p>
<p><em><strong>What kind of attention span do they have?</strong></em> I plan my music sessions to be about 45 minutes. In general, it seems to be a sweet spot that engages people without tiring them out too much. But I’m a weekly visitor and a professional musician. If I were an activity director or staff member in a senior community, I might plan shorter more frequent music sessions and try to infuse music throughout the day. Don’t hesitate to start small with a much shorter plan. You could even pick just one or two songs to share. </p>
<p>So there you have it. A few questions and a bit of advice to help you think about the participants, what they need and what they enjoy. </p>
<p>Now it’s your turn. I’m still wearing my teacher’s hat. I hope you will all be good students and raise your hands to ask questions and offer opinions. There could be gold stars or even prizes in your future if you participate. Drop me a line. I’ll try to answer questions and share your insights in future installments in this series.</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/59258462019-10-14T10:52:28-04:002019-10-14T10:52:28-04:00Folk Songs: Connecting the Generations<p>Have you ever planned a family gathering, or perhaps an activity where you work, that involved people of all ages? </p>
<p>It can be challenging right? </p>
<p>The little ones can’t read or sit still for very long. </p>
<p>The eldest may (or may not) have some physical limitations. </p>
<p>And yes, the folks in the middle age group might have to be convinced to put away their cell phones! </p>
<p>And certainly, almost everyone will have differing interests and musical preferences. </p>
<p>Well, I have an idea for you. </p>
<p>Let me explain it to you by describing the scene at my house recently. </p>
<p>Here’s our family group. </p>
<p>Leon is two. His mom and dad are 30, his grandma is 65. (That’s me.) Great grandpa is 91. </p>
<p>Leon is perched on his little white chair, which he positions right next to the stereo speaker. He’s holding his “guitar”, which is actually an inexpensive ukulele I gave him. Gently swaying side to side he sings along to the music on the CD player. Sometimes he jumps up and dances and when he hears Old McDonald he loves making the animal sounds. (You can watch him in action on the video below.) </p>
<p>Great grandpa Jack sits near by; singing and clapping to the beat, encouraging Leon and joining in. He remembers these songs from his own childhood. Watching Leon makes him happy. Singing with Leon is even better. </p>
<p>Leon’s mom and dad sit on the couch holding hands and yes, they too are singing along. Their eyes shine with pride for their son and love for their grandpa. </p>
<p>And me? I’m sitting near Leon and of course I’m singing along. I scan the room, smiling. And here’s my observation. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Everyone is able to participate and no one is left out. </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>So what are we singing along with? </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>It’s my new CD. </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a contents="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old&nbsp;" data-link-label="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old" data-link-type="page" href="/sing-along-with-mary-sue-folk-song-favorites-for-young-and-old" target="_blank"><strong>Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old </strong></a></p>
<p>Perhaps you’re like me. I know a little bit about my family’s musical preferences. And I could make a playlist that everyone would probably enjoy listening to. And that would be OK. </p>
<p>But what if we want everyone to participate? </p>
<p>What if we’d like to have a shared experience singing together? </p>
<p>That’s where folk songs come in; so simple and so deeply ingrained in our culture that everyone knows at least one or two of them. Joining in is almost automatic. I’ve seen it over and over. </p>
<p>I’ve Been Working on the Railroad, My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean, Old McDonald, She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain… These songs and more are what I call my “ringers.” They work every time. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>And so…I invite you to sing along! </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old is available now. </strong></p>
<p>Find it on my website where you can also find a companion songbook. Or find the music to download on Amazon or on ITunes. </p>
<p>I hope you will enjoy singing along.</p>
<p><a contents="Old McDonald had a Farm...with Leon" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1PJOHOZliM" target="_blank">Old McDonald had a Farm...with Leon</a></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/59212542019-10-09T18:42:42-04:002019-10-09T18:42:42-04:00An Unexpected Reason Why Folk Songs Are So Important (And some big news!)<p>Why am I such a big fan of folk songs, especially for people living with dementia and the senior communities where they live? </p>
<p>There are lots of reasons why I think folk songs are important. But there is one reason that has surprised me. It might surprise you too. </p>
<p>Let me explain. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Folk songs are the quickest way to engage all your staff. </strong></p>
<p>Amanda works in housekeeping. She is passing through the living room where we are gathered to sing. I see her singing along on a line or two as she walks by. The residents see her too. </p>
<p>Angie, the hospice nurse, is in the back working on charts. I see her lips moving to a familiar song. The residents sitting near her see it too. </p>
<p>The cook comes in to the room to check on timing for a meal. He pauses to sing a chorus or two with us. The residents applaud his efforts. </p>
<p>The quiet CNA standing behind the med cart calls out “elephant” for Old McDonald and then proceeds to do a very effective elephant trumpet. We all laugh and everyone feels like they are part of the group. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>It’s almost as if folk songs catch people off guard and they can’t help but sing along. </strong></p>
<p>Why? Because childhood memories click in and people suddenly feel comfortable singing. Younger staff members may not know the standards from the 40s or 50s that elders often love. But they probably sang at least a few folk songs at home or at school or at camp. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Why is this important? </strong></p>
<p>It’s pretty simple really. Your staff members like to feel competent too. Folk songs can blur the lines between care partners and care recipients, creating community and connection through simple songs. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>And now, drum roll… Here’s the news. I just released a new CD. And it’s folk songs! </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong><em>Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old</em> is now available</strong>! </p>
<p>This collection harkens back to a time when families gathered together on the front porch or around the fireplace to sing. I made it because I love these songs and because I’ve learned that the folks I sing with love them too. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Just push play and the sing along begins. </strong></p>
<p>This CD is organized for you into a sing along that is suitable for individuals or for groups large or small, of any age. You don’t have to figure out what song to play next. Just start the CD (or your digital download) and away you go. The sing along starts with <em>Hail, Hail the Gang’s All Here</em> and wraps up with <em>Goodbye Ladies</em>. Among the 19 songs you’ll find <em>Old McDonald, I’ve Been Working on the Railroad, Polly Wolly Doodle, She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain</em> and many more. </p>
<p>You can see the complete song list and purchase it as a CD or as a digital download on my <a contents="website" data-link-label="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old" data-link-type="page" href="/sing-along-with-mary-sue-folk-song-favorites-for-young-and-old" target="_blank">website</a>. The arrangements are simple and the vocals clear and easy to follow. My voice, two acoustic guitars and a string bass. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Even better! There’s a songbook to go with it. </strong></p>
<p>You can also purchase a printable PDF of a songbook to go with it. And then you can make as many copies as you need. (Note: The CD and download are also available on Amazon and the download is available on iTunes. The songbook is only available on my <a contents="website" data-link-label="Sing Along with Mary Sue: Folk Song Favorites for Young and Old" data-link-type="page" href="/sing-along-with-mary-sue-folk-song-favorites-for-young-and-old" target="_blank">website</a>.) </p>
<p>So let’s sing folk songs together! Drop me a line and let me know what your favorites are. I’d love to hear from you.</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/59019282019-09-23T08:13:38-04:002019-09-23T08:25:24-04:00Let's have a conversation<p>I wish I could sit down with each of you individually and talk about the power of music in caregiving. I would make you a cup of tea and we could share experiences and learn from each other. Obviously that is just not possible. </p>
<p>However… </p>
<p>This week’s blog post may contain the next best thing. It’s a link to a podcast interview I did recently with Lenore Tracey from Eldercare Illuminated. </p>
<p>It’s a personal conversation, not a lecture. </p>
<p>I think we all learn best when we can hear someone’s real life story. And that’s what I love about this interview. </p>
<p>Lenore shares stories about caring for her mother. She intuitively used music to ease transitions and to provide joy and comfort. </p>
<p>I share personal stories from my own experiences, as well as tips and strategies for both senior communities and family members. </p>
<p>I’d love for you to listen in – with or without a cup of tea. </p>
<p>And if you’d like to “join the conversation”, please do! Send me your thoughts, tell me your story.</p>36:42Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/58936352019-09-16T12:06:38-04:002019-09-16T23:00:12-04:00The Magic of Music in the Chaos of Long-Term Care<p><strong><em>guest article by Donna K. Woodward, CNA</em></strong></p>
<p>Being a new CNA is challenging. Yes, in training I learned how to make a hospital bed with a mannequin in it. To wash my hands according to procedure. To transfer fellow trainees with a gait belt. But now that I'm in the unit, needing to transfer a dear little wheelchair-bound lady who can no longer speak and who, while petite, is a dead weight when I try to lift her. And she is contracted. Her arms remain tight at her side as I try to undress her. Who is more distressed, 'Goldie" or I?</p>
<p>Goldie, in her mid-90's, is still a beautiful-looking woman with twinkly eyes and a smile that glows. So as I work with her I sing "Glow little glow-worm, glow and glimmer" to her. (Are the Mills Brothers spinning their graves?) I'm not sure Goldie gets the words at this point, but I'm laughing as I sing and she laughs back. She relaxes. I open my arms wide to invite a hug and Goldie opens hers! Now I can get her blouse off. Mission accomplished! I don't know what made me sing to Goldie that first time, except that she was such a sparkly person that being with her made me happy. My singing is not a pretty sight. But as one musician said to me, "They don't care what you sound like if you love them."</p>
<p>Soon I was singing to all my residents as I did ADLs (Activities of Daily Living: bathing, dressing, toileting, eating). Sometimes a resident would sing along. Yes, this did mean that it took me longer than it took other aides. One of my caregiver-mentors would say to me, "We don't have time to talk to the residents. We don't have time to sing to them." But I persisted (quietly) and began to carry my iPod nano and a small wireless speaker with me. Now we had hundreds of songs, sung by the voices these residents might recognize: Frank Sinatra, Rosemary Clooney, The Mills Brothers, Judy Garland, etc. One morning as I brought residents to the dining room for breakfast I played "Oh What a Beautiful Morning." Soon the room was singing! And smiling. In time other aides began asking, "Do you have your music with you today?" For one thing, I think they liked some of this old music. And they saw residents often became calmer and more cooperative when they felt 'sunny.' Music does that, connecting us to each other and to our memories.</p>
<p>As my IPOD played the "Marine Hymn" or "Anchors Aweigh," veterans walked to the dining room with new determination. Accompanied by a waltz, a resident with unsteady legs could be coaxed to move more confidently. Sometimes we can engage a resident with a song we know she enjoys, singing together as we walk to the toilet. Because we're in the midst of something pleasant, a resident might hardly notice that an ADL she usually resists is about to happen.</p>
<p>Some residents can no longer speak; they might no longer understand language. The saddest reality is that some can no longer hear. (Even then, rhythms might be felt.) Not every musical event works every time with every resident. Nevertheless, with many residents, music can be magical in its effect. Music has a profound positive effect so often that it seems crazy not to try it.</p>
<p><em>When I am old and grey and full of sleep</em> . . . (thank you Mr. Yeats), they can take my food, they can have even my books. But I want my music.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>More about Donna: I<em> was the family caregiver for an uncle who developed dementia. When my uncle moved to a memory support home, I found that I loved interacting with the residents. My uncle loved Lawrence Welk and one day I played a Welk dvd for the group. Residents began tapping their feet and singing along. Some who no longer spoke, sang a few words! I thought, “I want to be a minstrel in dementia-care homes.” Back to school I went, and at age 67 became a CNA—and a minstrel. Over the years I’ve had several careers and many jobs; none was as transformative as this work. My goal is to help improve the quality of life of those who live and work in long-term care homes. Donna lives in Havertown, PA. Prior to retirement Donna also volunteered in a nursing home in Philadelphia and served as a hospice volunteer in a LTC home for persons with life-long physical and cognitive disabilities.</em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/57941002019-06-17T09:08:23-04:002019-06-17T09:08:23-04:00Has family caregiving changed your life? A Father's Day Tribute<p>Has family caregiving changed your life? </p>
<p>Caring for a loved one, no matter the reason – be it dementia or another health concern - can be all consuming and impact relationships deeply. Family dynamics often evolve. Sometimes people find a strength they never knew they had. In the best case scenarios it can bring families together; forgiveness is given as need be, and gratitude is freely expressed. </p>
<p>Thirty years ago I watched caregiving bring out qualities in my father that I had seldom witnessed. Throughout the time that my dad took care of my mom, our relationship grew more positive in ways that I could never have imagined. </p>
<p>Last year my dad stepped back into the role of caregiver as my stepmom’s health deteriorated. This time, his relationship with his stepdaughter blossomed. An already positive bond grew even stronger, giving my stepsister the love and support of a father in a way that she had never experienced. Along with that, a new and lovely relationship is now growing as I get to know her. Believe it or not, we had never even met until last year. </p>
<p>So this tribute is for the dad I so happily share, not only with my brother Clark, but with my stepsister and her brothers. </p>
<p>If you are a family caregiver – I honor you for the love you give and for the sacrifices you make.</p>
<hr><p><strong><em>Jack – A Tribute to Our Dad </em></strong></p>
<p><em>My dad was not the guy who played with you in the back yard. His playground was the golf course, a game I never really “took to”. My mom, who passed away 29 years ago, was my best friend and confidant. Dad was more likely to say “This too shall pass.” Or “We’ll get it handled.” Years ago I didn’t really want to hear that and I know he would agree with my assessment that we often butted heads. If you had told me then that my dad would become my best friend and confidant, I would have said “In your dreams.” </em></p>
<p><em>But things change. During my mother’s long illness we spent a lot of time together and I saw a side of him I had never seen before as he nurtured and lovingly cared for her every need. When my son was born, during my mom’s last month of life, my dad bonded with him in a way I am sure he never did with either my brother or I when we were little. Don’t get me wrong – he didn’t’ change diapers – but still. They formed a relationship that thrives to this day. </em></p>
<p><em>Fast forward about 20 years, to a time when my world came apart at the seams. Somehow without me even telling him, my dad knew something was wrong and stepped in to offer me the unconditional love and support I desparately needed. Along with that he threw in some great advice and even some financial support. But the most important thing he did was listen to me and let me talk and talk and talk. He always had time and was relentless in his follow up to make sure I was OK. </em></p>
<p><em>After my mom died, my dad lucked out and met a wonderful woman, Meg, who would become his wife. For 22 years they enjoyed life in Iowa, Arizona and Florida. They cruised in Alaksa, hosted countless cocktail parties, danced the night away and played endless games of golf with their friends. </em></p>
<p><em>Time has a way of catching up with everyone and for the last year of Meg’s life Dad and Meg moved to Colorado so they could be near Meg’s daughter Jinny. That move was hard for dad. To be honest, he never would have done it, but for his love for Meg and his desire to care for her. And while he hated living in the senior residence, it gave both he and Meg precious time to spend with Meg’s kids and grandkids– especially her daughter Jinny. </em></p>
<p><em>Jinny and my dad didn’t have a difficult history to overcome. But they had never lived in the same town and so had not spent much time together. Over the course of that year in Colorado they grew very close. They jointly and lovingly cared for Meg. </em></p>
<p><em>Life has settled down for me. And dad’s caregiving days ended with Meg’s passing last summer. But Dad’s support for and interest in the lives of all his children remains. </em></p>
<p><em>None of us get to choose who our father will be. But lucky for us, our dad, Jack, is a keeper. </em></p>
<p><em>Happy Fathers Day Dad! <br>Mary Sue</em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/57792322019-06-04T06:26:29-04:002019-06-04T06:27:17-04:00HELP! I'm Not a Music Therapist But I Want a Vibrant Music Program<p> Have you ever thought: </p>
<p><strong>"I want to do music but I'm not a music therapist or a musician."</strong> </p>
<p>Maybe you’re a music lover but don’t feel comfortable as a music leader. Maybe you are comfortable singing…but maybe you’re not. </p>
<p>This week I’m sharing an article I wrote for <a contents="Teepa Snow’s Online Dementia Journal." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://teepasnow.com/services/online-learning/online-dementia-journal/" target="_blank">Teepa Snow’s Online Dementia Journal.</a> </p>
<p><strong>Whether you are comfortable singing or not, the following article will help you "do more music." It's full of super practical advice and simple steps.</strong></p>
<hr><p><em>You’re not a music therapist? You know the value of music but you’re not sure how to get started? Maybe you are comfortable singing and maybe you’re not. I’m here to tell you that you too can provide music experiences that help the people you care for connect, find joy, and awaken memories. Yes, it takes a little thought and some support. But I think you’re up to it. I truly believe that you too can use music to improve the lives of the people you care for. </em></p>
<p><a contents="READ ON . . ." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://gallery.mailchimp.com/cbe3652f6dc8a381935e47a14/files/0fafeef5-b83b-42c7-a259-0d3d9126f28b/ODJ_5.2019_FINAL_MarySueW_HELP.pdf" target="_blank">READ ON . . .</a></p>
<hr><p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Want to learn more? </strong></p>
<p>Pick up my book <strong>"Songs You Know by Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care."</strong> It includes a 15 Minute Music and Movement Plan, a whole chapter on Frequently Asked Questions, Activity Suggestions for 18 songs and much, much more. Bonus! It includes 18 sing along songs I recorded. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Buy it <a contents="HERE" data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart-a-simple-guide-for-using-music-in-dementia-care--2" target="_blank">HERE</a> on my website or <a contents="HERE" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://teepasnow.com/product/songs-you-know-by-heart-a-simple-guide-for-using-music-in-dementia-care/" target="_blank">HERE</a> in Teepa's store. </strong></p>
<p>(Note: These purchases include both a download of the 18 songs plus a physical CD. You may purchase it on Amazon but those books only come with a download code.)</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/57400342019-05-02T10:04:45-04:002019-05-02T10:04:45-04:00Can Music Make Your Aging Parents Less Cranky? You Won't Know Until You Try!<p>Am I a bad daughter? </p>
<p>My friend Melissa asks this question often. </p>
<p>Frankly, her mom is…well…difficult. And Melissa is often left wondering if she could “do better” so her mom wouldn’t be so…let’s just say, challenging. </p>
<p><strong>Do you ever wonder if <em>you</em> are a bad daughter to your aging parent? </strong></p>
<p>Maybe you live far away. </p>
<p>Maybe you live close by. </p>
<p>Regardless, most of us struggle with some self doubt about whether we are doing “enough” or the “right things” for our aging parents. We just want them to be happy, right? </p>
<p>Sometimes our guilt centers around visits. </p>
<p>“Do I visit often enough?” </p>
<p>“Do I stay long enough or too long?” </p>
<p>“Are my visits pleasant? </p>
<p>Then it moves on into, “Are my parents happy?” </p>
<p>Or in Melissa’s case, “Why is my mom so grumpy?” </p>
<p><strong>Will we ever really know?</strong> </p>
<p>Most of us can only speculate on the answers to these questions. Even if we come right out and ask, we may or may not get the real scoop. </p>
<p>My dad and step mom are well versed in sugar coating. There was one time my dad was in the hospital for three days before they picked up the phone to call and tell me! “Well, we were busy. And I’m fine now.” They mean well, but seriously? </p>
<p><strong>Can you relate? </strong></p>
<p>So back to Melissa. </p>
<p>Melissa is my friend and she also does some work for my business Singing Heart to Heart. With Singing Heart to Heart I bring music back into the lives of older adults and I specialize in using music in dementia care. I do a lot of speaking and training on this topic, based on my book “<a contents="Songs You Know by Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care.”&nbsp;" data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart-a-simple-guide-for-using-music-in-dementia-care--2" target="_blank">Songs You Know by Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care.” </a></p>
<p><strong>One day Melissa asked me “Do you think music could help my mom be less cranky?” </strong></p>
<p>You can probably guess what I answered. “Of course!” </p>
<p>Thanksgiving was coming up and her mom always spent the day with Melissa’s family. As hard as they tried, Melissa’s mom usually found something to be critical of. Sigh… </p>
<p>So this year, Melissa decided to bring some music into the equation. She had read my book, so she knew something about how to choose the right music. And she used my <a contents="Finding Memories Through Music Family Interview" data-link-label="Finding Memories through Music - A Family Interview" data-link-type="page" href="/finding-memories-through-music-a-family-interview" target="_blank">Finding Memories Through Music Family Interview</a> to help her personalize her selections even more. </p>
<p>Melissa chose some music she thought her mom would like and assigned her teenage children the job of setting up a playlist on Spotify or YouTube. </p>
<p>When mom arrived for turkey day, Melissa had some “happy” music playing. </p>
<p>“Oh, that’s nice” remarked her mother. To be honest, it kind of “cut her off at the pass” before she started picking at things. </p>
<p>At Christmas time Melissa’s daughter showed her grandma how to find the Christmas music channel on her TV so she could listen to music easily at her apartment. She even gave her grandma a little pep talk about how she needed to find her own Christmas spirit and that the music could help. </p>
<p>Melissa’s mom needed some encouragement. Just suggesting that her mom “should listen to some music” wasn’t enough. Melissa had to take action. And to be clear, music hasn’t changed her mom’s personality. She will always be that “glass half empty” person. </p>
<p>But used strategically it has given them some happy moments together. </p>
<p>I grew up in a musical household. I know all the old songs because my mom was always playing them and we did a lot of singing together. My dad was a great dancer. Still is. My mom died a long time ago and my step mom also loves music. In fact, one of her most prized possessions is her piano. </p>
<p>When I visit them I am always surprised at how quiet it is. </p>
<p>One night when I was visiting them in Florida, Lawrence Welk came on. They were sitting in their respective recliners with their feet up. And despite their repose – their feet were tapping away to the music. I couldn’t help but point it out. I mean, they know what I do for a living after all. </p>
<p><strong>“Look how this music is making you happy.” </strong> </p>
<p>When it was time for happy hour (a family tradition) and making dinner, I dragged out their dusty CD player and popped in the Louis Armstrong CD I had brought with me from Michigan. I knew it had one of my dad’s favorite songs on it – “Hey Look Me Over.” We followed that with a CD I made called <a contents="Songs You Know By Heart" data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart CD" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart-cd" target="_blank">Songs You Know By Heart</a>. It made happy hour even happier and they both commented on it. </p>
<p>My dad and step mom aren’t grumpy. They simply forget to put music on. So I nudge them along. Every now and then I send them a new CD and whenever I visit I make sure to get the CD player out. </p>
<p><strong>Is there a way that you could bring music back into the life of your parents? </strong></p>
<p>It won’t make you a perfect daughter with no guilt. But it might be just the thing to brighten everyone’s day and improve your visits. Sometimes it’s the little things that make all the difference. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>This blog article first appeared on the website <a contents="60 and Me" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://sixtyandme.com/can-music-make-your-aging-parents-less-cranky-you-wont-know-until-you-try" target="_blank">60 and Me</a>. I encourage you to take a look at all of their amazing articles and great content.</em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/57303712019-04-24T07:38:53-04:002019-04-24T07:38:53-04:00Can You Experience the Faith of Others Through Music? A Personal Story<p>It was the Thursday before Easter Sunday and I was with friends. My friends are the residents of Traverse Manor where I have been singing every week for over 5 years. Most are in their 80s and 90s with a few pushing 100. Because <strong>I know them well</strong>, I knew they would appreciate a hymn sing. </p>
<p>Rather than start with our standard <em>Hail, Hail the Gang’s All Here</em>, we started our sing along with <em>Just a Closer Walk with Thee</em>. That opened the door and by request we sang <em>In the Garden </em>and <em>Old Rugged Cross</em>. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Making the music session personal </strong></p>
<p>We talked about our favorite hymns and there were more requests. Using my iPhone and a wireless speaker I was able to play for them <em>Christ the Lord is Risen Today</em>, followed by a rousing version of <em>He Arose</em>. </p>
<p>Elizabeth sat in the back. As the familiar hymns began I saw her lips move, almost imperceptively. Her focus seemed elsewhere; until she caught my eye, we shared a smile and she called out Amen! </p>
<p>To my left I could hear Buck and Dotty. Married 72 years and sitting side by side in wheel chairs, their voices grew stronger as the hymn went on. Buck wiped his eyes as a few tears fell. </p>
<p>Perched on her walker near the front, Shirley’s ever present smile grew wider and more enthusiastic with each refrain. </p>
<p style="text-align: right;"><strong>No longer the song leader </strong></p>
<p>Normally on my feet as I lead the singing, I found myself compelled to just sit down and become a participant rather than a song leader. I allowed my own memories to take over. In my mind’s eye I could see the wooden pews in Trinity Lutheran Church in Dubuque, Iowa; me wearing my Easter hat and gloves and the orange corduroy swing coat my mother had made. Picturing us standing side by side, I could almost hear our voices blending as we sang, <em>Christ the Lord is Risen Today…Halleluiah</em>. <strong>I linger in this sweet memory </strong>and send a little prayer of gratitude up to my mom. </p>
<p>From there I find myself back in the simple white frame Church of the Brethren. I am grown now with a family of my own. We have gotten up early to join my mother and father-in-law for the Easter Sunday Sunrise Service. The small congregation belts out <em>Up from the grave he arose</em>. I see my father-in-law’s long, white hair and hear his booming voice singing with conviction. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Can we go beyond awakened memories? </strong></p>
<p>I don’t sing gospel songs because of my own faith. <strong>I sing hymns and gospel songs because I know they are important to the people I serve. Very important</strong>. But I share this story with you because my experience with my friends at Traverse Manor has surprised me in a way. Not because I am new to the idea that songs can bring up memories. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Experiencing a deeper connection</strong> </p>
<p>In the room on Thursday was a deeper connection; a unity, a spirit that I could feel. Yes, my memories warmed me. But it was more than that. <strong>I could see the power of their faith and it was as if I had been invited in to rest in <em>their</em> faith for just a bit.</strong> It didn’t matter what I did or did not believe or whether I went to church. Their faith was so evident and so strong. All I had to do was be a witness to the peace it brought them. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>My take away </strong></p>
<p><em><strong>It doesn’t matter which religion the music comes from. If you open your heart, sharing it with others, you too can experience the communion, the peace and the love. And that is a gift. </strong></em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/57279792019-04-22T08:41:50-04:002019-04-22T08:41:50-04:00Shaking Up She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain: Two Tips Guaranteed to Breathe New Life into an Old Song<p>Do you ever get a little bored singing the same old songs? Come on, you can admit it. But we do it anyway don’t we? We do it because <strong>we know that for people living with dementia, there is comfort and competency to be found in a familiar, old song.</strong> Especially one they have been singing since they were children. That’s why I’m such a big fan of folk songs. (And why my new CD that I am about to record will be just that – a collection of favorite folk songs to sing along with. More on that in the coming weeks.) </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Two Road Tested and Fun Ways to Shake Up <br><em>She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain </em></strong><br>More fun for you. More fun for everyone. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Make Up Your Own Words </strong></p>
<p><strong>Simply ask: <em>“What else do you think will happen when she gets there?” And then put the answers in the song. </em></strong><br>Remember there are no wrong answers. If the people you are singing with are not able to come up with any ideas, you could make it simpler by guiding them to choose a food or a farm activity. Or you could give them two choices such as “Will we all have chocolate cake or will we all have mashed potatoes?” Or, just throw in a couple of funny ones that you like. Remember, this is about making the song more fun for you too. Here are some ideas to get you started. </p>
<p><strong>Foods you will eat: </strong><br>And we’ll all have chocolate cake when she comes. </p>
<p><strong>Farm activities:</strong> <br>And we’ll have to milk the cow when she comes </p>
<p><strong>What she’s wearing: </strong><br>She’ll be wearing red high heels when she comes. </p>
<p><strong>Other ideas: </strong><br>And we’ll have to do the dishes when she comes. <br>And we’ll have a great big party when she comes. <br>She’ll be playing her guitar when she comes. <br>And we’ll all sing together when she comes </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Act It Out with Simple Movements </strong></p>
<p>She’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes (Say: When she comes) <br>She’ll be driving six white horses when she comes (Say: Whoa Back as you pull back on the “reins” with your arms) <br>And we’ll all go out to meet her when she comes (Say: Hi Babe! With a big wave) <br>And we’ll kill the old red rooster when she comes (Say: Chop, Chop as you make a chopping motion with one hand into the palm of the other hand) <br>And we’ll all have chicken and dumplings when she comes (Say: Yum, Yum as you rub your belly) <br>She’ll be wearing red pajamas when she comes (Say: Scratch, Scratch as you pretend to scratch) <br>And we’ll have to sleep with grandma when she comes (Say: Snore, Snore as you make your best snoring sound) </p>
<p><strong>See how simple that was? Are there other old songs that you can make up words to or add movements to?</strong></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/56716222019-03-06T22:14:16-05:002019-04-08T16:17:05-04:00Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are: The Introvert’s Guide to Using Music in Dementia Care<p>Helen is intuitive, creative, caring, and smart. She’s the Life Enrichment Coordinator for a cluster of small memory care homes where she has just been given a beginning budget to implement a comprehensive music program. She and I begin talking about how we can stretch the dollars she has available. I jump right in with “I could show you how to lead a sing-along when I’m not there.” </p>
<p>It was then that Helen said to me, “Oh, I’m not the right person to lead a sing-along. I don’t have that kind of charisma. I’m not someone who can walk in and “own the room.” </p>
<p><strong>Helen is an introvert. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Is this you? </strong></p>
<p>I’ve met many people with introverted personalities who work in elder care. Often, introverts think they’re not suited to leading music experiences because they don’t have the “right personality” for it. I’ve heard these folks say, </p>
<p>“I don’t like being up in front of a group.” </p>
<p>“I’m not good speaking in public.” </p>
<p>“I’m better working one-on-one.” </p>
<p><em><strong>When it comes to music, being an introvert isn’t a “problem” or a “weakness.” Actually, it can be a great match for providing a personalized music experience, based on personal preferences. As an introvert, you can offer music experiences in an intimate, one-on-one manner that is aligned with your personality and meets the unique needs of the people you care for. </strong></em></p>
<p><span class="font_large"><strong>Let me show you how. </strong></span></p>
<p>Here are some small stories that might inspire you to create similar experiences for the people in your care… (Click on the highlighted links to find some helpful resources and products.) </p>
<p><em>Julie loaded Charlie into the front seat of her car and tuned the <strong>radio </strong>to a country music station. Pulling out of the driveway of the memory care home where he lives, they begin their weekly “<strong>road trip</strong>” singing along to his favorite songs. Sometimes she pops in one of his favorite<strong> CDs</strong> or uses her <strong>Sirius Radio</strong> to play music he will know and love. </em></p>
<p><em>Jean stopped in to chat with Vera. She knows from talking to Vera’s daughter that Vera spent many happy hours of her youth dancing to the sounds of the big bands—Tommy Dorsey, Glenn Miller, and others. Using her <strong>smartphone</strong> and a <strong><a contents="small wireless speaker" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.amazon.com/AOMAIS-Bluetooth-Speakers-Wireless-Waterproof/dp/B07D355MRQ/ref=sr_1_29_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1547758967&sr=8-29-spons&keywords=wireless+small+speaker+charges+with+USB&psc=1" target="_blank">small wireless speaker</a>,</strong> Jean pulls up a <strong>Spotify</strong> list she has made and plays a few tunes. Vera’s feet move instinctively to the beat, and Jean sits across from her holding her hands and dancing along, copying her movements. Later, Jean makes a note of what songs Vera seemed to enjoy the most so that she can play them again or find other songs by the same big band. Down the hall, Jean uses a different list from <strong>iTunes </strong>that she knows will help soothe Beverly, who is missing her husband and feeling anxious. </em></p>
<p><em>Sarah has purchased a <a contents="record player" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://amzstore.togetherinthis.com/product-category/stimulation/music-players/" target="_blank"><strong>record player</strong></a> for the day program that she runs. She’s been collecting older<strong> albums </strong>from her parents, from the families of the folks who spend the day with her, and from the record shop in town. Sometimes she finds them at the thrift shop. You might see her sitting with one person simply choosing records to play. Sometimes she sits with a small group sorting through the records. They talk about the album covers and the musicians. They take turns choosing what to play. Sometimes they talk about the memories associated with the songs. Sometimes they talk about what kind of music they like. Sometimes they dance. Sometimes they sing along. </em></p>
<p><em>Sue keeps a small <a contents="CD player&nbsp;" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.amazon.com/Electronics-NPB-251BU-Portable-Player-Stereo/dp/B007FQNK4U/ref=pd_day0_hl_23_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B007FQNK4U&pd_rd_r=a06d728d-18c2-11e9-a1d6-d7c18bc79752&pd_rd_w=qihHx&pd_rd_wg=V0X1u&pf_rd_p=ad07871c-e646-4161-82c7-5ed0d" target="_blank"><strong>CD player </strong></a>and a collection of <strong><a contents="CDs" data-link-label='Song Lyrics for "Songs You Know By Heart" CD' data-link-type="page" href="/song-lyrics-for-songs-you-know-by-heart-cd" target="_blank">CDs</a></strong> at her desk. She uses them to make short “<strong>music visits</strong>” to the residents. She knows the residents, and she has a variety of music to choose from. Sometimes she even takes a few small <strong>rhythm instruments</strong> along. These “music visits” help her engage with people who are no longer able to chat with her or participate in some of the other activities she offers. </em></p>
<p><em>It’s Valentine’s Day (or the first day of spring or the Fourth of July or…), so Erica pulls up a <a contents="YouTube Playlist" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8Mhx0bIjD03YXHsAcwUt-A/playlists" target="_blank"><strong>YouTube Playlist</strong></a> on the <strong>big-screen TV</strong> and shares it with the residents. They watch Dean Martin sing “That’s Amore” and watch Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dance. </em></p>
<p><strong>You don’t have to be a “rockstar.” </strong></p>
<p>If you’re an introvert, I hope these small stories will inspire you to take small actions. Set one tiny goal to help you get started. Introverts and personalized music experiences can be a great combination. You don’t have to “own the room.” You don’t have to have a huge budget or spend a lot of time preparing. You just have to start. You’ve got this.</p>
<p><em>To learn more about how to <strong>choose music</strong>, visit the <a contents="Song Guides" data-link-label="Song Guides" data-link-type="page" href="/song-guides">Song Guides</a> in the Resource Library on my website: www.SingingHeartToHeart.com. You may also use my <a contents="Finding Memories through Music: A Family Interview" data-link-label="Finding Memories through Music - A Family Interview" data-link-type="page" href="/finding-memories-through-music-a-family-interview">Finding Memories through Music: A Family Interview</a> to help you <strong>personalize your music selections.</strong></em></p>
<p><em>Note: This article first appeared in <a contents="Teepa Snow’s Online Dementia Journal," data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://teepasnow.com/services/online-learning/online-dementia-journal/" target="_blank">Teepa Snow’s Online Dementia Journal,</a> a resource I highly recommend.</em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/56716202019-03-06T22:05:11-05:002019-03-06T22:05:11-05:00Red, Red, Robin, page 18: Is it ever too late for music? <p>Margie’s gruff and gravely voice called out from her favorite corner where she carefully perched on the seat of her walker. Stooped and bent over, her arthritic hands were no longer able to hold the songbook she knew so well. It didn’t matter. Margie knew the words to her favorite song and so many others. She only called out the page number for the sake of the other residents at the assisted living home where she lived. </p>
<p>I don’t suppose I should have favorites amongst the folks I sing with. But I’ll admit I do. And Margie was one of them. Always interesting to talk to, always enthusiastic. And always ready with her request. </p>
<p>One day as I arrived, the staff pulled me aside and told me “Margie is on her journey.” That’s nursing home talk for she’s dying. “You might want to go in and see her.” </p>
<p>I took my guitar and went to Margie’s room. She lay on the bed with her eyes closed, looking small and tired. </p>
<p>I said “Margie, it’s Mary Sue here to see you.” </p>
<p>You’ll have to use your imagination to get the full effect of what happened next. With that oh so unique voice, Margie barked, rather matter of factly back at me “I’m dead.” </p>
<p>I laughed and said “No, you’re not dead Margie.” </p>
<p>I let that sink in for awhile and then said “I suppose we should sing <em>Red Red Robin</em>.” </p>
<p>Margie agreed and I began to sing. </p>
<p>After the song ended Margie took my hand and said “I’ll never forget you.” I told her I would always remember her too. I hugged and kissed her and said goodbye. </p>
<p>Leaving the room, I heard the staff tell Margie that they had to move her into a wheelchair for a few minutes so they could put a special mattress on her bed. Apparently there are special mattresses for end of life journeys. </p>
<p>I returned to the living room and greeted the other residents who had gathered to sing. I told them to sing out loud so Margie could hear us in her room around the corner. </p>
<p>A few minutes into our sing along, I looked up and there was Margie being wheeled into the midst of our group. Ashley, a beloved staff member, and Margie’s granddaughter hovered around her, each offering her a chocolate milk shake. Yes, two chocolate milk shakes. </p>
<p>The next thing I knew, Margie was singing along. We sang <em>Red Red Robin</em> again. Ashley and the granddaughter stared at me in disbelief, as if to say “What’s going on?” </p>
<p>I answered with a big smile and a slight shrug, “The power of music?” </p>
<p>Margie did die. But not that day and not the next day or the day after that. She returned to having her meals with the other residents in the dining room. And it was there, during lunch one day about a week later, that Margie completed her journey. I don’t know if there were any chocolate milk shakes for lunch that day. I do know I’ll never forget Margie.</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/56375622019-02-11T10:07:11-05:002019-03-30T15:50:28-04:00Love Songs; Responding to Sweet Memories and Tears<p>When I was 12 years old my mother wouldn’t let me to go to the junior high dances. She insisted that I wait until I was 13. Trust me, the months dragged on that year in seventh grade until my birthday in March. And then, be still my heart, I finally found myself at my first dance. </p>
<p>I remember the dimmed church basement and the crepe paper draped and drooping between the dark wooden beams of the low ceiling. I remember I was wearing a moss-colored, plaid kilt skirt and a matching soft, green sweater that I had gotten for Christmas. </p>
<p>And then it happened. </p>
<p>The boy I had been pining for (his name was Skip) asked me to dance. (That's a picture of us together in 7th grade.) </p>
<p>The song? <a contents="Cherish&nbsp;" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD94tZgPuvc" target="_blank">Cherish </a>by the Association. </p>
<p>To this day, whenever I hear that song I can see my handsome prince with his soft blonde hair and brown eyes. (Okay – I’m exaggerating – but he was cute!) </p>
<p>I can almost feel his tentative arms around me as we “danced” in that awkward way that only 13-year-olds can do, especially when the chaperones are lurking nearby. </p>
<p>I close my eyes and I am back in that church basement. I get a warm, fuzzy feeling as dreamy memories of my first boyfriend and my teenage years come flooding back. </p>
<p>Why do I have such vivid memories of this? </p>
<p>I haven’t seen Skip in decades. </p>
<p>But that song…That song… </p>
<p>In my work with <a contents="Singing Heart to Heart" data-link-label="Home" data-link-type="page" href="/home" target="_blank">Singing Heart to Heart</a> I use music to engage, connect, awaken memories and bring joy to elders, many of whom are living with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. </p>
<p>Music from our youth, especially love songs, can reach people in a profoundly simple way, just like the song Cherish still does for me. </p>
<p>As we approach Valentine’s Day it’s only natural to think about love songs. These songs can be highly emotional and linked to some of our deepest memories. For that reason, I encourage you to seek out the love songs that will reach the people you serve. For example, if someone is 90 you will want to find love songs from the 1940s. And then, be ready to listen. You will no doubt hear some lovely stories that will bring you into a closer relationship with the people you care for. </p>
<p>What about tears? </p>
<p>Tears may come. There may be songs that make people feel sad. Music creates opportunities for people to express grief and for you to offer comfort. Don’t be afraid of this. Allow people to express sorrow and acknowledge their feelings. Here are some ways you might respond. </p>
<p><em>“That song brought back a beautiful memory didn’t it?” Or “You have such wonderful memories don’t you?” </em></p>
<p>These are good responses for anyone, but especially for people who are no longer verbal. You’re not asking them to answer questions. You are simply acknowledging their feelings. Remember that tears may be a way for a non-verbal person to release and express emotions. </p>
<p><em>“Did that song remind you of someone special? Tell me about them.” </em></p>
<p>This response is better for people who are able to verbalize and share stories with you. You may be surprised that a detailed memory “shakes loose.” </p>
<p>Valentine’s Day and love songs. A time to listen with both your ears and your heart.</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/53116052018-06-22T15:54:56-04:002018-06-22T15:54:56-04:00Moms, Music and Hospice<p>Were you fortunate enough to have a wonderful mother? I was. My mom and I were best friends. We had voices that matched perfectly and she taught me to sing. She and my dad loved to dance. Sadly, she passed away due to complications from diabetes 28 years ago, right after the birth of my son. No one takes the place of the mom who raised you. But I got lucky again with a kind, thoughtful and supportive mother-in-law who lived near by, surrounded me with love and treated me like a daughter. She taught me so many things. She and my father-in-law filled their home with music- mostly southern gospel hymns. I soaked it all in. </p>
<p>About five years after my mom died, my dad met Meg. I’ll never forget the night he called to tell me about her. He was out in Arizona. He was falling hard for her but she already had a boyfriend. I told him to put on his dancing shoes and go for it. He did and as they say, “The rest is history.” Their 22nd wedding anniversary was May 31st. </p>
<p>Meg and I enjoyed each other whenever we could be together and she made my dad so happy. Crowned Prom King and Queen at the Highlands Ridge Golf Community, where they settled in Florida, they made friends easily and were often the first ones on the dance floor. When a recent move took them to Colorado, Meg’s piano was not to be left behind. </p>
<p>As a grown woman with a family of my own, and because my dad and Meg lived far away, my relationship with Meg was different than that of my first two moms. She was sweet and thoughtful, loving and kind. When my more conservative father was out of the room we would commiserate about politics and women’s rights. Over the past 22 years, the love between us blossomed. Mary Margaret – Meg – has been my third mother. </p>
<p>When my mother-in-law died I remember thinking “No one should have to lose a mother twice.” Soon I will lose my third mother. Meg is now in hospice care. </p>
<p>The grief, like the relationship, is happening long distance - with daily calls to my dad and check ins with Meg’s daughter who lives near them. My heart and my thoughts are in Colorado. Last week I didn’t write a newsletter and I almost took this week off as well. Sometimes, the world needs to stop to allow us to be present. But as I lay in bed last night, it came to me that today I wanted to share a page from my book about the benefits of music in hospice care. </p>
<p>I have been asked “Does there come a point in time when music is no longer beneficial?” I would say no. Hearing is the last sense to go when someone is dying. Hospice caregivers will tell you to keep talking to your loved one. I would add, keep playing music and keep singing. </p>
<p>Thank you for letting me share my personal story today. I hope this short section of my book will encourage you to keep music in mind for hospice care.</p>
<hr><p><strong>Benefits of Music in Hospice Care </strong></p>
<p><span style="color:#2980b9;"><strong>Music is a time-out from talking.</strong></span> Often it’s hard to know what to talk about when families are gathered in the hospice setting. Singing is something everyone can do to increase comfort and alleviate fears during a very difficult time. </p>
<p><strong><span style="color:#2980b9;">Music is a pathway to meaning. </span></strong>Familiar songs may soothe when the unknown is looming. They can provide a pathway for reminiscing. </p>
<p><strong><span style="color:#2980b9;">Music is a gift.</span></strong> Singing together is a way to actively do something for someone who is dying. It may comfort the singer as well as the hospice patient. </p>
<p><strong>A Hospice Music Moment with Mary Sue </strong></p>
<p>Julie’s hospital bed was set up in the living room. Surrounding her was the clutter of a life well lived. Several generations of family had gathered and crowded in to be with her during her last days. Little ones ran underfoot and young adult cousins stood around, at times awkward and at times jostling and joking, not sure how they were supposed to act. Julie’s husband and friends were ever attentive, serving food and checking on her, offering comfort and conversation. </p>
<p>I arrived with my guitar and began to sing. Julie and her family called out their favorites: “You Are My Sunshine,” then “Twinkle Little Star” for the toddlers. Secure now that it was ok to laugh and enjoy the moment, the cousins broke out an old rock and roll song. Spirits lifted with each song shared. Soon everyone was engaged in the music, together. Now everyone knew what to do. And it was ok to take a break from the grief. </p>
<p><em>Excerpt from "Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care" by Mary Sue Wilkinson, page 5</em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/52059022018-04-27T14:18:04-04:002018-04-27T14:18:04-04:00"You May Already Be a Winner!" And Everyone's a Winner with this Simple Music Activity.<p>Back in 1953 Harold Mertz was trying to sell magazines. </p>
<p>He had salespeople going door to door. But it wasn’t very efficient. So Harold came up with the idea of mailing subscription offers to everyone. For the price of a 3-cent stamp he could blanket the town with his offers. Good idea right? </p>
<p>But Harold knew that not everyone liked the same magazines. So he created Publisher’s Clearing House. And with that one mailing, he offered a bunch of different magazine titles all in one mailing. Something for everyone. Smart guy. </p>
<p>Then Harold got even smarter. He started a contest. Sort of like a lottery. </p>
<p>Each subscription offer he mailed out had a number on it. One of the numbers had already been selected to win a prize. Because the number had already been selected, Harold could truthfully say: </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em>“You may already be a winner!” </em></p>
<p>Harold tapped into human nature. </p>
<p>He knew that people like choices so he offered more than one magazine at a time. </p>
<p>Harold also knew that he could draw people in – get them engaged - if he linked choosing magazines to something fun like a game of chance. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em>What does this have to do with music? </em></p>
<p>The people you care for like to have a little fun. </p>
<p>The people you care for have different preferences when it comes to music. </p>
<p>It’s human nature. And you want to honor that. </p>
<p><strong>But what if the people you care for can’t come up with song titles when you ask for requests? </strong></p>
<p>Here’s a beautifully simple solution sent to me by one of my readers, Jeanne Whiting, from northern Vermont. Thank you Jeanne! </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Pick a Winner! </strong></p>
<p><em>“Because I work in a memory care unit it is often difficult for folks to remember their favorite song. I have a couple who ask for the same song and there are a few whose favorites I have discovered by their reactions to certain songs. </em></p>
<p><strong><em>To make choosing songs easier, but still individual, I started a “pick a song night” which we do every Friday night. (We sing every night...except Saturday because that's movie night!) We call it Pick a Winner. Here’s how to play. </em></strong></p>
<p><em>I put the names of songs on pieces of paper and put them in a large plastic bin. There are over a hundred songs, so you never know what you're going to get. </em></p>
<p><em>I start going around the circle...first person chooses a song and as they choose I say "Okay (name), Pick a Winner.” </em></p>
<p><em>The response to that phrase is "And they're all winners!" </em></p>
<p><em>Most of the time I have to prompt them but some can remember to use the response at this point. They pick out of "the bucket" and hand me the slip of paper with the title. I usually make a big deal about it, like a game show. "Ohhhh, what will it be?" etc. Then we sing the song. And we just continue on around the circle until we're done!” </em></p>
<p>So simple and so brilliant! </p>
<p>Jeanne plays ukulele, but you could do this same fun activity using the names of songs you have on a Spotify, ITunes or YouTube playlist. </p>
<p>Harold didn’t offer people 2,000 magazine choices. He offered them about 20 based on what he knew were likely to be their favorites. He made choosing easier. And he made a game out of it. He got people to engage – to take a chance. </p>
<p>Try Jeanne’s idea. </p>
<p>“You may already be a winner.” </p>
<p>Do you have an idea or a story to share with the Singing Heart to Heart community? Send it my way and I’ll enter you into a drawing to win a copy of my CD <em>Songs You Know By Heart</em>, as well as a copy of my children’s CD <em>Ms. Tiyi’s Garden</em>. </p>
<p>P.S. If you play ukulele, or want to learn, read on as Jeanne shares a bit about her background, how she got started and her favorite resources for finding songs. </p>
<p><em>“I knew a lot of the older songs because my mom was a musician (church organist/piano player) and that's what we listened to or that she would sing. We also used to play through my grandmother's record collection and sing into our hairbrushes with Doris Day and The Andrew Sisters. I learned a lot of songs when I started using my ukulele instead of lugging my guitar or borrowing a keyboard. I got the book <a contents="The Daily Ukulele&nbsp;" data-link-label="Great Books" data-link-type="page" href="/great-books" target="_blank"><strong>The Daily Ukulele </strong></a>which has really great songs. I'm still learning from it. I also got the second book which has some older songs but leans more towards "newer" songs. We have a more diverse age population now so it does help to know some of the better known songs of the '50's, '60's and even '70's. I also have <a contents="The Ukulele Fake Book" data-link-label="Great Books" data-link-type="page" href="/great-books" target="_blank"><strong>The Ukulele Fake Book</strong></a> that has over 400 songs...many newer ones. I'm still learning!! </em></p>
<p><em>I realize how blessed I am to be able to be with the same group of people every day/night. Even when we are in a small group doing a puzzle we end up singing little bits and pieces of songs.”</em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/51619162018-04-03T12:01:00-04:002018-04-03T12:01:28-04:00Top Song Picks from the Singing Heart to Heart Community: Coast to Coast and Across the Sea<p><strong>Jeanne from Vermont </strong>plays uke in a memory care residence. She suggested: <em>Oh My Darling Clementine and the Battle Hymn of the Republic </em><br> <br><strong>Cathy</strong> is an activity coordinator from <strong>North Ayrshire, Scotland</strong>. She added: <em>My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean and Daisy, Daisy (Bicycle Built for Two) </em><br> <br><strong>Charles</strong> works in memory care in <strong>Monterey, California</strong>. He added: <em>Home on the Range and Moonlight Bay </em><br> <br><strong>Pam </strong>owns care facilities in <strong>Wilber, Nebraska</strong> and her residents love: <em>Let Me Call You Sweetheart and You Are My Sunshine</em> <br> <br><strong>Jaine</strong>,<strong> from the UK,</strong> works in activities at one residence and also takes music out to other senior communities. Her picks include: <em>You Are My Sunshine and Wartime pub songs.</em> Other favorites include <em>Swing Low Sweet Chariot and Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho.</em> She also mentioned The Everly Brothers, Tom Jones and a song special to her and popular in England called <em>The Rock and Roll Waltz</em> by Kay Starr. Do you know it? <br> <br><strong>Ann from Syracuse, New York</strong> writes that the residents she serves love: <em>The Beer Barrel Polka and The Pennsylvania Polka. </em>(I bet the residents there love to dance!) She also said they have fun by singing <em>Every Party Has a Pooper</em>. Ann says, “We pick who the Party Pooper is for that time and it's all in fun!” <br> <br><strong>Jean from Rockford, Illinois</strong> works in dementia care. She plays the piano and they love to sing: <em>She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain and Home on the Range</em> <br> <br><strong>Carol from Lake Ann, Michigan </strong>offered two newer songs as favorites:<em> I’m a Believer</em> by the Monkees and <em>Stand By Me</em> by Ben E. King </p>
<p><strong>Kim</strong> hails from <strong>Nova Scotia</strong> and the residents she cares for like the old gospel songs such as: <em>Old Rugged Cross and How Great Thou Art. </em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/51619152018-04-03T11:54:00-04:002018-04-03T11:54:00-04:00Are the old songs too old?<p>I recently heard from Kim in Nova Scotia, who wrote: <br> </p>
<p><strong>“I find with times changing and our residents coming to us from a different generation, the songs like “Working on the Railroad” and “Bicycle Built for Two” are not always good choices because they are not as familiar with these songs</strong>. And our staff are certainly from a new generation that was not necessarily brought up on those songs either. </p>
<p>New challenges lie ahead. I tease my staff and tell them when I move into the nursing home, they need to sing Ozzie’s Crazy Train or Alice Cooper’s Poison.” <br> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Here’s what I’m wondering. </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Is this your experience too? Are the old standards still the favorites for sing alongs or is your experience more like Kim’s? </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Let’s talk about this. </strong></p>
<p><strong>Hop over to the Singing Heart to Heart <a contents="Facebook page" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungatHeartMusic/" target="_blank">Facebook page</a> and share your thoughts.</strong> I’ll post my perspective there and I hope you will join the conversation. </p>
<p>Kim’s email came in response to a recent newsletter where I published a Top Ten List of my favorite sing along songs. My list is based on my experiences here in Michigan. (In case you missed it, you can find it <a contents="HERE" data-link-label="Song Guides" data-link-type="page" href="/song-guides" target="_blank">HERE</a>.) I asked you to chime in with favorite songs from your neck of the woods. I thought you might enjoy hearing from your colleagues near and far, so down below I am sharing a sample of your answers. Based on your responses I immediately added a few songs to my repertoire! <br> <br>Let’s keep the conversation going. See you over on the <a contents="Facebook page" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.facebook.com/YoungatHeartMusic/" target="_blank">Facebook page</a>. </p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/51363472018-03-19T17:10:29-04:002018-03-19T17:10:29-04:00Chart Toppers: Ten Songs Guaranteed to Get People Singing<p>I am often asked <strong>“What are the best songs for a sing along?</strong>” <br> <br>That’s not as easy to answer as it may seem. There are personal preferences to consider, the mood in the room, and the energy level of the participants. Most important is knowing at least a little bit about the people you are singing with. <br> <br><strong>But there are some songs that never seem to fail. They “top the charts”.</strong> <br> <br><strong>You want people to sing along? These songs work time after time. </strong> <br> <br>I lead hundreds of sing alongs each year, mostly here in Michigan. I have a pretty good idea what the favorites are in my neck of the woods. And I’m pretty sure some, if not all, of the songs on my Top Ten list would be well known in most parts of the United States. <br> <br><strong>But your list could be very different.</strong> Especially if you live outside of the U.S. <br> <br>Check out my list and the brief suggestions I offer for how to use each song. Are the songs on my list the same as the ones on your list?</p>
<p><a contents="Mary Sue's Top Ten Sing Along Favorites [PDF]" data-link-label="Song Guides" data-link-type="page" href="/song-guides" target="_blank">Mary Sue's Top Ten Sing Along Favorites [PDF]</a></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/51236642018-03-12T10:51:11-04:002019-03-30T15:48:42-04:00"Are you a guitar player?" "No, I'm a cow milker." How knowing just a little can help you a lot!<p>As I played the first song for the folks in the adult day program I noticed a man in the front row whose hands were moving in time to the music. He looked like he was strumming an air guitar. </p>
<p>After the song I asked, “Are you a guitar player?” </p>
<p>He answered with a chuckle, “No, I’m a cow milker.” </p>
<p>Have you ever milked a goat or a cow? </p>
<p>I have. </p>
<p>Once upon a time, a long time ago, I was put on the spot and had to milk goats by hand with only a few words of instruction. My husband was too sick to do it. And of course, the goats HAD to be milked. </p>
<p>I told this little story to the folks in the music session and demonstrated for them how you twist as you pull down. I said, “I got those darn goats milked!” </p>
<p>Everyone laughed and the cow milker smiled and nodded enthusiastically - especially at my demonstration. </p>
<p>What just happened? </p>
<p>Connection made with the cow milker. Laughter shared by everyone. </p>
<p>Later in our music session we sang one of this group’s favorite songs, “If I Knew You Were Coming I’d a Baked a Cake.” We make up our own verses. </p>
<p>I asked, “If you knew I was coming over to visit what would you do to get ready?” </p>
<p>I started by telling them I like to sleep late and don’t always make my bed. </p>
<p>So… we sang “If I knew you were coming I’d make my bed, make my bed, make my bed…” </p>
<p>Whenever I use this song there are usually enough people who get the idea and we go along inserting their ideas into the song. “I’d make some coffee.” “I’d sweep the floor.” “I’d lock the door!” If no one can offer answers I make things up and we keep singing. And it’s still fun. </p>
<p>But back to the cow milker. </p>
<p>I caught his eye and said “I’ve got one for you!” </p>
<p>“If I knew you were coming I’d milk the cows, milk the cows, milk the cows…” </p>
<p>Everyone laughed. Everyone sang along. </p>
<p>When that verse ended, the cow milker said “We better feed the horses.” </p>
<p>“If I knew you were coming I’d feed the horses, feed the horses, feed the horses…” </p>
<p>What just happened? </p>
<p>Engagement increased. </p>
<p>Why? </p>
<p>Because I knew a little something about this man’s life. </p>
<p>Are there cow milkers in your midst? Dancers? Pilots? Teachers? Dog lovers? Carpenters? Shoe store owners? </p>
<p>Who are the people you serve? </p>
<p>How do you increase your connection to them? </p>
<p>How can you increase engagement by knowing even a little bit more about them? </p>
<p>Let’s think on this. Let me know your thoughts. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>P.S. Here’s a quick video to help you learn how to use the song “If I Knew You Were Coming I’d a Baked a Cake”</p>
<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="euUSWfl6Zc0" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/euUSWfl6Zc0/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/euUSWfl6Zc0?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/51003822018-02-26T19:21:19-05:002019-03-30T15:52:59-04:00Creating moments of joy with music. Here's what it looks like. <p>Has anyone ever told you to “live in the moment?” Or “Be present.” </p>
<p>Living in the moment takes on a whole new meaning for someone who is living with dementia. </p>
<p>Here’s how Jolene Brackey describes it in her best selling book <em><a contents="Creating Moments of Joy – A Journal for Caregivers." data-link-label="Great Books" data-link-type="page" href="/great-books" target="_blank">Creating Moments of Joy – A Journal for Caregivers</a></em><a contents="Creating Moments of Joy – A Journal for Caregivers." data-link-label="Great Books" data-link-type="page" href="/great-books" target="_blank"><em>.</em></a></p>
<p><em>“When a person has short term memory loss, his life is made up of moments. <strong>We are not able to create a perfectly wonderful day with those who have dementia, but it is absolutely attainable to create perfectly wonderful moments</strong> – moments that put smiles on their faces, a twinkle in their eyes, or trigger memories. Five minutes later they won’t remember what you did or said, but the feeling you left them with will linger.”</em> </p>
<p>Moments of joy. </p>
<p>Not days or weeks or months or a lifetime. </p>
<p>Moments. </p>
<p>Moments that help us connect. </p>
<p>Moments that help us understand. </p>
<p>Moments that help us communicate. </p>
<p>Moments that truly impact quality of life. </p>
<p>Moments of joy. </p>
<p><strong>Want to know one of the most powerful ways to create moments of joy? </strong></p>
<p><strong>You guessed it. Music. </strong></p>
<p>Let me show you what it looks like with these three Music Moments taken from my book <a contents="Songs You Know by Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care." data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart-a-simple-guide-for-using-music-in-dementia-care--2" target="_blank"><em>Songs You Know by Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care.</em></a> </p>
<p><strong>Bob </strong></p>
<p>Bob told me with a gentle smile, “I have memory loss.” He was trying to recall the name of one of his favorite songs. Not knowing the song title didn’t dampen his enthusiasm. As our music session began, he pushed up to his feet so that he could dance – often with his imaginary partner. He “held her” tenderly as he closed his eyes, wrapped his arms around himself, and caressed his own cheek. He swayed to the music and let the song take him to a place he remembered. </p>
<p>Bob likes rock and roll, Elvis, and “Blue Suede Shoes.” He could be any man on any dance floor. He laughs as he dances. When we sing “Home on the Range,” he joins me in adding the coyote’s howls. Without being prompted, he adds the sound of a horn to “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad.” He cups his hands around his mouth as we sing “Can’t you hear the captain shouting, Dinah blow your horn!” </p>
<p>Bob’s wife arrives for a visit. She sees Bob dancing and tells me, “We both love music. We used to love to go out and dance.” I sing, “I’ll be loving you, always…” Bob and his wife hold each other tenderly as they dance. </p>
<p><strong>Susan </strong></p>
<p>Right in front of me sits a woman with a round, soft face, tight curly hair, and the bluest eyes you can imagine. She is short and her feet barely touch the ground. She is wearing blue pants with tights underneath, and ankle socks that she frequently reaches down to pull up from her white tennis shoes. </p>
<p>When I arrive, she squeals, “I love you!” as she bounces up and down in her chair. She swings her feet and taps her toes to the music, often sitting on her hands like a small child might. She wears the biggest smile ever. Her voice is quivery, but she sings every song with gusto, often clapping along. Her delight in the music is contagious and spills over to those around her. </p>
<p><strong>Ron</strong> </p>
<p>Ron is asleep on the couch. When the singing starts he pounds one hand into the other in time to the beat. His eyes open now and then with what seems to be great effort. After some time Ron gets to his feet and comes to stand next to me. He starts to join in with a high-pitched hum. No words, just a hum in tune with the song. A hum and then a huge smile. </p>
<p><strong>Remember. For people living with dementia, it’s all about moments. </strong></p>
<p><strong>You can’t make everything perfect, all day or all week. </strong></p>
<p><strong>But you can create some moments of joy – with music.</strong></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/50956202018-02-23T13:54:10-05:002018-02-23T13:54:10-05:00Tap into Rhythm, Tap into Success: A Foolproof Music Session Plan<p>Hello music friends! <br> <br>TAP, TAP, TAP <br> <br>With a friendly smile on my face, I tap two rhythm sticks together. </p>
<p><em><strong> “Today we’re going to play the drums - without the drum.” </strong></em></p>
<p>Circling the room, I gently slide a wooden stick into each person’s hands. <br> <br>Bill begins to rub one stick against the other. <br> <br>Sue gently taps the sticks together, barely lifting them off her lap. <br> <br>The staff warn me that Deb tends to put everything in her mouth. And she does. (That’s OK – I sanitize everything after each session.) <br> <br>Fred shakes his head “no” when I offer him the sticks. “OK”, I say with a smile. <br> <br>Jill gets right at it. Tapping away enthusiastically. <br> <br><em><strong>“Ready? Here we go!” </strong></em><br> <br>First song up? <em><a contents="Stars and Stripes Forever." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzHN7kxR4ic&list=PLg9qV5c9QhUXPbHceCA1wTBoJDyybdEC3&index=2" target="_blank">Stars and Stripes Forever.</a></em> Why? Everybody knows it and it’s a march with a strong steady beat. <br> <br>The room erupts with “on time, on the beat” drumming…without the drums. <br> <br>I tap along, sometimes marching around the room, checking in with folks and sharing smiles. <br> <br>Next up.<a contents="&nbsp;Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICkWjdQuK7Q&index=1&list=PLg9qV5c9QhUXPbHceCA1wTBoJDyybdEC3" target="_blank"> <em>Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.</em></a><em> </em><br> <br>What? Why that song? <br> <br>First of all, because people know it and it’s fun. But it’s the rhythmic structure of the song that makes it perfect for our session today. Here’s why. After every verse and chorus, the music stops as they say “2,3,4, Tell the people what she wore!” <br> <br>I lead the group with exaggerated visual cues and one word directions. “<em>Stop!</em>”and “<em>Go!</em>” <br> <br>And yes, almost everyone can start and stop. They follow the music, as well as my visual and verbal cues. <br> <br><strong>Why is it important to do activities like this? </strong><br> <br>Because a sense of rhythm and the ability to keep a steady beat are retained skills. <br> <br>For people living with dementia, it’s an opportunity to do something that focuses on strengths rather than weaknesses. <br> <br>This sense of rhythm is so strong that sometimes people living with dementia can dance better than they can walk. And there is new research showing that people with Parkinson’s can often maintain a steady walking gait better when they are moving to music. <br> <br><strong>Need more reasons? </strong><br> <br>Does it create a sense of <strong>community</strong> when everyone is playing together “in the band?” Yes! <br> <br>Do people feel <strong>competent</strong> when we offer activities that call on retained skills? A resounding yes! <br> <br>Is it <strong>fun</strong>, for them and for you? You bet. <br> <br>Win, win, win. <br> <br>Give it a try.</p>
<p>p.s. After the first song, Fred changed his mind and decided he wanted to play too. Deb took the sticks out of her mouth and began to play as soon as the music started. </p>
<p>p.p.s. Here’s where you can buy <a contents="rhythm sticks" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.westmusic.com/p/basic-beat-bbs8-8-combination-rhythm-sticks-201358?origin=product-search&utm_source=googlebase&utm_medium=comparsionshopping&aff=5115&gclid=Cj0KCQiAiKrUBRD6ARIsADS2OLkAtlNEIMvYjtE4RfjVMpXqJnvkJT2ahoo4MqPT6eOoiOisEFmVkXEa" target="_blank">rhythm sticks</a> and here’s a link to a <a contents="playlist" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICkWjdQuK7Q&list=PLg9qV5c9QhUXPbHceCA1wTBoJDyybdEC3" target="_blank">playlist</a> I made for you on my YouTube Channel for the music I used.</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/50848862018-02-17T09:44:26-05:002018-02-17T09:44:26-05:00Love Songs and Tears<p>Happy Valentines Day! <br> <br>It’s the week for love songs! Often these songs are highly emotional and linked to some of our deepest memories. For that reason, I encourage you to be ready to listen. You will no doubt hear some lovely stories that will bring you into a closer relationship with the people you care for. <br> <br><strong>What about tears? </strong><br> <br>Tears may come. There may be songs that make people feel sad. Music creates opportunities for people to express grief and for you to offer comfort. Don’t be afraid of this. Allow people to express sorrow and acknowledge their feelings. Here are some ways you might respond. <br> <br><em>“That song brought back a beautiful memory didn’t it?” Or “You have such wonderful memories don’t you?” </em><br> <br>These are good responses for anyone, but especially for people who are no longer verbal. You’re not asking them to answer questions. You are simply acknowledging their feelings. Remember that tears may be a way for a non-verbal person to release and express emotions. <br> <br><em>“Did that song remind you of someone special? Tell me about them.” </em><br> <br>This response is better for people who are able to verbalize and share stories with you. You may be surprised that a detailed memory “shakes loose.” <br> <br><strong>Love songs and tears. This will be a week to listen with both your ears and your heart. </strong></p>
<p>P.S. Are you looking for a sweet music activity to celebrate the holiday? In case you missed it, a couple weeks ago I made a <a contents="Love Songs playlist&nbsp;on myYouTube channel" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcyiC79l910&list=PLg9qV5c9QhUUUYoO6CjrJ9dB3E0xehuyU" target="_blank">Love Songs playlist on myYouTube channel</a>. It’s organized to provide a balance of upbeat and more romantic songs and many of them have the lyrics so you can easily sing along. There are more resources including <a contents="lyric sheets HERE" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.singinghearttoheart.com/love-songs-guide-lyrics-activities" target="_blank">lyric sheets HERE</a> on my website. Enjoy!</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/50291872018-01-17T20:59:10-05:002018-01-17T20:59:10-05:00The Green Stamps Guitar - How One Gift Shaped My Career and Changed My Life<p>Have you ever received a present that truly changed your life? Maybe you didn’t know it at the time, but looking back, it’s easy to see that if it hadn’t been for that one special gift, your life could easily have taken an entirely different path. </p>
<p>I am the founder of <a contents="Singing Heart to Heart" data-link-label="Home" data-link-type="page" href="/home" target="_blank">Singing Heart to Heart</a>, a small business where I bring music into the lives of seniors, with a special focus on using music in dementia care. I’ve been a professional musician since I went away to college. </p>
<p>I’ve spent lots of time singing in bands – from rowdy bars to prestigious music festivals and concert halls. As a career educator, I taught music briefly. Over the years, I’ve worked as an agent for other folk musicians and as the entertainment manager for a large resort. </p>
<p><strong>Music Has Always Been a Big Part of My Life </strong></p>
<p>Do you remember green stamps? The grocery stores would issue them based on your purchase amount. You had to lick the back of them, then fit them into little square templates in small flip books. </p>
<p>There was something oddly satisfying about licking those stamps and sticking them in books. You could hold them in your hands and count them up. </p>
<p>Grocery stores published a printed catalog that told you how many books of stamps were required to ‘purchase’ a variety of items. After you collected a good many books of stamps it was time to go shopping. Most people, if I’m remembering correctly, used them to buy things like dishes. </p>
<p>Not my mom. My mom saved our family’s green stamps and used them to buy my first guitar. It was 1966. I was 12 years old, and it was Christmas. That year ‘Santa’ brought me a little black Kay guitar. It had a white note painted on the front. </p>
<p>This was definitely a beginner’s guitar, but I loved it immediately. I had been taking piano lessons for some time, but this was the ‘60s and folk music was a big thing. I loved to sing, and I wanted to play guitar like Peter Paul and Mary and so many others. </p>
<p>My mom assumed, rightly so I suppose, that I should have some lessons. She drove me downtown where I climbed the stairs to an apartment above the Salvation Army. I’ll never know how my mom found that teacher. But I remember she was tall and lean and wore plaid wool skirts. </p>
<p>She seemed very old to my 12-year-old self. She might have been over 60! Thinking back to that day and time it strikes me as unusual that the teacher was a woman. I like to think that my feminist mom went out of her way to assure that, but I’ll never know. </p>
<p><strong>My First Music Teacher </strong></p>
<p>I don’t recall her name, and it was probably because the lessons didn’t last long. My new guitar teacher, with wisdom I failed to recognize at the time, wanted to teach me how to play melody lines. </p>
<p>She started with Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and I rebelled. Not during the lesson, of course. I was much too polite for that. But I went home and convinced my mother that these lessons were entirely unnecessary. </p>
<p>All I wanted to do was play chords, so I could accompany myself singing. Tom Dooley, Oh Mary Don’t You Weep and Lemon Tree were on my short list. </p>
<p>There was no shortage of songbooks around my musical home. So, I dug in and taught myself how to play, even mastering that pesky F chord, the B7 and more. </p>
<p>The fact that music has been such a large part of my life didn’t happen simply because I was given that little black Kay guitar. I could have let it sit in the corner. Clearly, I was motivated. </p>
<p>My mother recognized something in me and took a chance using up every last one of her green stamp books. But without that guitar… my life would never have been the same. </p>
<p>I am often asked how long I have been playing guitar and singing. One of my earliest memories is of sitting on a cement bench in our big backyard, singing, “Oh little playmate, come out and play with me…” </p>
<p>As I grew up, I often sang with my mother whose voice was a perfect match for mine. My dad had been a drummer, and his mother’s diary told of how he went to 28 dances in 30 days back when the big bands were touring rural America. Birthdays in my family meant going to Timmermans’ Supper Club to dance to live music. </p>
<p><strong>That Little Black Kay Guitar </strong></p>
<p>So you see, I grew up in a musical family. But if it hadn’t been for that one gift – that little black Kay guitar, I wonder what path my life would have taken. </p>
<p>Singing and playing guitar has enriched my life in so many ways. Playing music with others has given me my deepest friendships and my longest love. </p>
<p>It has put food on my table and given me a roof over my head. It has comforted me and helped me celebrate life – in equal measure. These days, I am often thanked for sharing music experiences with elders. In my heart I know I receive more than I give. </p>
<p>My mom passed away 28 years ago. But not before she could see my name in lights and watch her little girl use the talents that she had nourished with the gift of that little black Kay guitar. </p>
<p>I am forever grateful. </p>
<p><em><strong>As you think back about your life’s work or the hobbies you are passionate about, is there a gift that changed your life? Maybe for you it was a chemistry set, a doctor’s kit, a baseball glove or an Easy Bake oven. I’d love to hear your story in the comments below.</strong></em></p>
<p><em>This blog article first appeared on the website <a contents="60 and Me." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://sixtyandme.com/the-green-stamps-guitar-how-one-gift-shaped-my-career-and-changed-my-life/" target="_blank">60 and Me.</a> I encourage you to take a look at all of their amazing articles and great content.</em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/50175982018-01-10T21:04:38-05:002018-01-10T23:42:48-05:00Cultural Humility vs Cultural Competence<p><strong>By Rachelle Norman, Soundscaping Source - Guest Blogger</strong></p>
<p>I’ve written several posts now about connecting as caregivers with older adults who are from different cultural backgrounds than our own. This is a big task, and as I wrote before, we must take one bite at a time. </p>
<p>As I was researching this topic, I came across a term that describes something just as important as cultural competence. That term is <strong>cultural humility</strong>. But, let’s back up a step. </p>
<p><em><strong>What is cultural competence again?</strong></em> </p>
<p><span style="color:#c0392b;">Cultural competence</span> is the ability to interact effectively with people of various racial, ethnic, socioeconomic, religious and social groups. Working towards cultural competence is an ongoing process, one often tackled by learning about the patterns of behavior, beliefs, language, values, and customs of particular groups. That has been the goal of my posts on <a contents="Vietnamese" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://soundscapingsource.com/cultural-competence-vietnamese-older-adults/" target="_blank"><span style="color:#c0392b;">Vietnamese</span></a> and <a contents="Latino" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://soundscapingsource.com/cultural-competence-latino-older-adults/" target="_blank"><span style="color:#c0392b;">Latino</span></a> older adults, for example. </p>
<p>As we’ve noted, though, there is <a contents="A LOT to learn" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://soundscapingsource.com/how-do-you-eat-an-elephant/" target="_blank"><span style="color:#c0392b;">A LOT to learn</span></a>. Eldercare professionals cannot learn every language and understand every custom in the world, even while we valiantly refuse to give up trying. </p>
<p><em><strong>That’s where cultural humility comes into the picture</strong></em>. </p>
<p><span style="color:#c0392b;">Cultural humility</span> involves an ongoing process of self-exploration and self-critique combined with a willingness to learn from others. It means entering a relationship with another person with the intention of honoring their beliefs, customs, and values. It means acknowledging differences and accepting that person for who they are. </p>
<p><em><strong>Cultural humility involves listening: to yourself and to the people you care for. </strong></em></p>
<p>The self-exploration part of this is critical. Our brains like patterns and putting things into groups, to the extent that we’re not aware of it most of the time. That’s why we need to ask ourselves questions like these: </p>
<ul> <li>How do I describe my own ethnicity? Race? Religion? Gender? Sexual Orientation? </li> <li>What are my most closely-held values? </li> <li>What would I want health care workers to know about me? </li>
</ul>
<p>And like these: </p>
<ul> <li>Am I just assuming she speaks Spanish because she looks Mexican? </li> <li>I know he’s Muslim, so would he be accepting of a female caregiver? </li> <li>She’s a 90 year old white lady, so she was probably married for a few decades, right? </li> <li>His chart says he’s Chinese, so should I assume that he came to the U.S. fleeing Communism? </li>
</ul>
<p>Every time we ask questions like this, we help to disarm our personal biases. By making a practice of self-reflection, open-minded listening, and a posture of humility, we will truly be in the best position to serve all people effectively, no matter what their cultural background is.</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/50038962018-01-02T20:42:11-05:002018-01-02T20:42:11-05:00Ruth and the Chocolate Covered Cherries<p>The holiday season often finds us visiting loved ones and friends, young and old. Sometimes it can seem like an effort to fit those visits in. We may even wonder if they are worthwhile. I hope today's recollection from my Young at Heart Music program will inspire you. </p>
<p>I’ve know Ruth for quite awhile. She used to spend time at an adult day center where I sing. I remember writing about her then – how even though she was restricted to using a wheel chair, her body always responded to the music - her toes tapping, her hands clapping, her head nodding. <br> <br>Ruth moved to a fully supported care residence about 6 months ago. I have seen the decline her brain disease has caused. These days she is frequently asleep during music. <br> <br>Today was different. When I arrived, a visitor was sitting on the arm of the couch next to Ruth’s wheelchair. The conversation was simple. Just a few friendly comments. Ruth smiled and nodded occasionally. I wondered who the visitor was. Was she a family member? A member of a church congregation that Ruth had belonged to? Maybe she was a former neighbor. I have no way to know if she had ever even met Ruth before. <br> <br>In Ruth’s hand was a gift from the visitor. A small box of chocolate covered cherries with a candy cane taped to the front of it. <br> <br>I began to sing. The visitor stayed for one or two songs, simply sitting next to Ruth, singing along and sharing the moment.</p>
<p>After the visitor left, Ruth held that box of candy out in front of her. Occasionally she would look down at it and smile. Throughout the entire music session – another 30 minutes – Ruth smiled and nodded – engaging with the music in a way that I had not seen in months. <br> <br>Will Ruth remember who came to see her or what was said? Probably not. But Ruth’s visitor had a lasting and positive impact on her. Ruth felt the connection. <br> <br>A few friendly words, a box of candy, a flower, a colorful card, a song sung together, a hand to hold, a kiss on the cheek, a hug. Can you share these gifts now during the holiday season, and on throughout the year? <br> <br>The human spirit longs for connection with others. That never changes.</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/49613662017-12-04T10:17:40-05:002017-12-04T14:26:52-05:00This Present Won't Fit in a Box. And it's for you.<p>This will be my first Christmas as a Grandma. Leon will be 8 months old! My own son, his dad, never knew my mom, his Grandma. She died 6 weeks after he was born, but not before she got to meet him and hold him on Christmas Day in 1989. I know my mom would have loved singing for my son Jesse. I believe she’ll be singing “through me” to little Leon. Down through the generations – music and love. This little story is in memory of her. </p>
<p>For years I sang <em><a contents="Oh Holy Night " data-link-label="O Holy Night" data-link-type="file" href="/files/265713/O%20Holy%20Night" target="_blank">Oh Holy Night </a></em>standing next to my mother in church. We would harmonize and our voices were perfectly matched. After she passed away it was years before I could sing that song. I just couldn’t do it without crying. It’s been over 25 years since she’s been gone. I miss her still – especially this time of year. But now – I can sing <em>Oh Holy Night.</em> It makes me happy to remember my mom even as I revisit the sadness of missing her. </p>
<p>That song is now one of my favorite Christmas gifts. It doesn’t require a credit card and it doesn’t fit into a box. I don’t have to whisper it to Santa or drop hints to my family. I give it to myself, year after year. And I never grow tired of it. Here’s why. </p>
<p>The holidays are a time when the music we hear can seem even more powerful, plunging us deep into memories and eliciting a strong emotional response. Happy or sad - and just like the memory of my mother - often happy and sad at the same time! </p>
<p><strong>We all have these emotional memories linked to music.</strong> We can all enjoy the gift of a memory inspired by a song. </p>
<p>For people living with dementia, the songs of the season may be even more powerful; literally giving them access to memories and feelings that at other times may seem too far away to enjoy. </p>
<p>The songs of our youth, including so many well known holiday songs, are stored away in a part of the brain that is often less damaged by dementia. </p>
<p><strong>Because of that, music is one of the most precious gifts we can give to someone living with memory loss.</strong> </p>
<p><em>Oh Holy Night </em>gives me a sweet memory of my mother. I can literally feel the warmth of her love. And even though she is gone, I enjoy a sense of connection to her. </p>
<p>I spend my days singing with older adults – many of whom are living with dementia. Each day I see the music crack open the memories. I hear the stories, the memories. And I feel the love. </p>
<p><strong>Awakening memories and feelings, connecting and sharing joy – these are the gifts of music.</strong> </p>
<p>And aren’t they the best gifts anyone could receive? </p>
<p>Do you have a cherished memory that you can gift to yourself during this busy holiday season?</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/49497162017-11-26T19:21:51-05:002017-11-26T20:12:59-05:00Red Light, Green Light: Capturing a Moment of Rest through Music<p>Have you ever been so tired that a stop light seemed like a blessing? You close your eyes for just a second and take a deep breath, trying to catch a wisp of the tiniest second – or maybe third wind? </p>
<p>Years ago, when I was starting a school, I had day after day with little rest. My mind was packed with to-do lists, problems to be solved and papers to sign. I would wake in the night, panicked that I had not signed the right papers or that children were unattended. </p>
<p>My mind would frantically try to remember what papers I needed to sign. Sometimes I would even get up and walk into the hallway of our home, sure I needed to do something.</p>
<p><strong>Red Light, Green Light </strong></p>
<p>During those difficult years, I would relish even that red light telling me to stop. I would close my eyes and take a deep breath. Believe it or not, I got good at knowing how long a stop light would last before changing color. </p>
<p>Other times, I would give myself one extra minute standing under the hot shower. I would say to myself, “You can have this one minute. Your day will still be OK if you take just this one extra minute for yourself.” </p>
<p>An even better strategy I developed was the rest I ‘claimed’ while listening to music. I would often have some music playing while I worked at home or in my office. If a song came on that I truly loved, I would give myself the length of the song to rest. </p>
<p>I would close my eyes and just listen. Most songs are about two minutes and forty seconds. I chose to be grateful for even that amount of time during my day when I could relax, rest and renew.</p>
<p>Seem crazy? Well it worked. I still didn’t get enough sleep. But those moments of rest sustained me. I would look forward to them and knowing I could grab them here and there gave me something to hold on to and helped me get by. </p>
<p><strong>When Rest and Relaxation Is Difficult </strong></p>
<p>Now imagine that you have Alzheimer’s. Your days and nights may give you ample opportunity for sleep. But the confusion in your mind, your new reality of uncertainty and memory loss make deep rest and relaxation difficult. </p>
<p>Then you hear a song you love. It triggers feelings and memories. The song ‘takes over’ for a short while. You don’t have to work at figuring out where you are or what you are doing. The song fills in the blanks. </p>
<p>The music lets you rest. </p>
<p>Can you imagine how wonderful that might feel? What a gift.</p>
<p><strong>November Is Alzheimer’s Awareness Month and National Family Caregiver Month </strong></p>
<p>I have seen first-hand the power of music to lift spirits, soothe, awaken memories and bring joy – for both people living with Alzheimer’s and for their care partners. I see the impact daily in my work, where I specialize in providing music experiences for people living with dementia. </p>
<p>Simply listening to music decreases cortisol, our ‘stress hormone,’ and increases dopamine, our ‘happiness hormone.’</p>
<p>For people with dementia, research is showing that music can literally reduce the use of pharmaceutical interventions – so fraught with side effects and yet commonly prescribed for agitation related to dementia. </p>
<p>If you care for someone who is living with Alzheimer’s, you know that days are made up of moments. I feel confident in saying that you are also familiar with a high level of fatigue and stress. </p>
<p>Just as my favorite songs gave me precious moments of rest that sustained me when I was super busy, I believe music can do the same for people living with dementia and for their care partners. </p>
<p>A few moments of rest by song may not seem like much. It’s not a cure for lack of sleep. And it certainly won’t cure Alzheimer’s. But sometimes all we get are moments. A stop light that turns red. An extra minute in the shower. Two minutes and fourty seconds of a song. </p>
<p>Moments of rest. We can claim them through music. For ourselves and for others. </p>
<p>How about giving it a try. Trust me – it’s a lot better than trying to sleep at a stop light. </p>
<p><em><strong>Can you find a few favorite songs to claim some precious moments of rest? Can you find a few favorite songs to give a moment of rest to a loved one living with Alzheimer’s?</strong></em></p>
<p><em>This blog article first appeared on the website 60 and Me. I encourage you to take a look at all of their amazing articles and great content.</em></p>
<div class="grammarly-disable-indicator"> </div>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/49233672017-11-07T18:51:16-05:002017-11-07T18:51:16-05:00Information is power. And we're together in this . . .<p><strong>November is National Caregivers Month.</strong> Let’s face it. The journey of caregiving is a challenging one. Most people are learning as they go, on their feet, in stolen moments. That is why this week I want to call your attention to a friend of mine whose goal is to provide caregivers with <em><strong>streamlined information and training</strong></em>. Whether you are caring for a family member or working in a professional capacity, Mike Good at <a contents="Together in This" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://togetherinthis.com/" target="_blank">Together in This</a> can help. <br> <br>Mike is a connector. He is a recognized expert in dementia care. But he also reaches out to others with expertise – bringing them to you through articles on his website, in his newsletter and on his <a contents="Alzheimer’s Podcast" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://togetherinthis.com/podcast/" target="_blank">Alzheimer’s Podcast</a>. <br> <br>This week I want to share an article from <a contents="Together in This&nbsp;" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://togetherinthis.com/">Together in This </a>that was written by Heather O’Neil, caregiver and founder of Creative Carer. Heather writes from her personal experience caring for her mother and offers her advice in <a contents="Three Therapies You Should Be Using Daily in Dementia Care" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://togetherinthis.com/three-therapies-you-should-be-using-daily-in-dementia-care/?utm_campaign=shareaholic&utm_medium=linkedin&utm_source=socialnetwork" target="_blank">Three Therapies You Should Be Using Daily in Dementia Care</a>. <br> <br>You’ve probably already guessed that music is one of the three. Follow the link above to read Heather’s article and learn more on the <a contents="Together in This" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://togetherinthis.com/" target="_blank">Together in This</a> website. <br> <br>Information is power. And Mike’s right. We’re together in this. <br> <br><em><strong>Do you have a favorite website? Let’s share resources!</strong></em> Drop me a line. <br> </p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/48955722017-10-17T16:34:11-04:002017-10-17T16:34:11-04:00I Got Rhythm!<p>Are you ready for a bite sized mini training that will liven up your music experiences? <br> <br>You’re in luck! <br> <br>This week’s short video is one of five in a training series available on my <a contents="website" data-link-label="Training Video Series" data-link-type="page" href="/training-video-series" target="_blank">website</a> and on the <a contents="Singing Heart to Heart You&nbsp;Tube Channel." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8Mhx0bIjD03YXHsAcwUt-A" target="_blank">Singing Heart to Heart You Tube Channel.</a> Check it out! <br> <br>I love to teach! You know how it is. When you’re passionate about something, you want to tell the whole world about it! And I’m passionate about the power of music to help us connect, awaken memories and bring joy. <br> <br>Last week I had the opportunity to present at the state conference for the <a contents="Michigan Association of Activity Professionals" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.maaponline.org" target="_blank">Michigan Association of Activity Professionals</a>. That was fun! The topic: From Entertainment to Engagement: How to Ensure Success Using Music. <br> <br>This week I’m off to Iowa (my home state) to present a workshop for a group of professional folk musicians at the Folk Alliance Region Midwest (FARM) conference. The topic: From Entertainment to Engagement: The Power of Music in Dementia Care. Do you see a theme here? </p>
<p><iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="p01PEHs5BLw" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/p01PEHs5BLw/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/p01PEHs5BLw?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p>I hope this little video inspires you and puts a spring in your step! (And if you’d like to have me come present for your organization, give me a call.) </p>
<p>P.S. Here’s what one participant said about last week’s training: </p>
<p>“You were wonderful and full of energy! Thanks for inspiring me and <br>encouraging me to better serve my residents with music.” <br>~ Kayla from Bay City </p>
<p>P.P.S Don’t forget about the Halloween songs and jokes on the website. </p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/48749622017-10-03T09:07:26-04:002017-10-03T09:08:59-04:00What Can One Little Person Do?<p>Many years ago my best friend, <a contents="Tiyi Schippers" data-link-label="Singing with Little Ones & Families" data-link-type="page" href="/singing-with-little-ones-families" target="_blank">Tiyi Schippers</a>, wrote a musical for children called “What Can One Little Person Do.” It is based on the song by the same name, written by another dear friend and children’s musician <a contents="Sally Rogers" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://sallyrogers.com" target="_blank">Sally Rogers</a>. <br> <br>Through the song and the musical, Tiyi and Sally teach the children that each of us can do something. And that all our small actions add up to make this world a better place. <br> <br><strong>In this big world, with big problems, it is easy to feel powerless. <br> <br>What <em>can</em> one little person do? </strong><br> <br>In recent days and weeks, I have seen the heart of our country open up as people reach out and take actions both big and small to help the people affected by the natural disasters in Texas, Florida, Mexico and most recently Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. The breadth of the suffering of our fellow citizens is immense and will be ongoing. <br> <br>In my own life I know that I can be overwhelmed with worry and sadness about so many things that seem to be out of my control and beyond my reach. I can barely describe how yesterday’s mass shooting in Las Vegas has left me feeling and the concern I feel for our world right now. Sometimes I just feel like my heart is breaking. <br> <br>At times like this I have learned that if I do one small thing to help someone or to address a need I have identified, it helps me keep my perspective, gives me a sense of purpose and even lifts my spirits. I also know that if I do nothing, the overwhelm leads to more worry and depression. <br> <br><strong>I believe the old saying “One good deed leads to another.” I also believe that peace begins at home. </strong><br> <br>This week I decided to take a small action for a problem I see daily. Obviously this problem pales in comparison to the natural disasters and the recent violence. And taking this small action does not mean I will turn my back on other bigger problems. But it is something within my reach. Here’s the problem. <br> <br><strong>Many seniors are losing the beauty of music in their lives because of changes in technology. </strong> <br> <br>Watch my 2 minute video below to see how I have decided to respond.</p>
<p><br> <iframe class="justify_inline" data-video-type="youtube" data-video-id="GjaT1ZFhqJ0" data-video-thumb-url="https://img.youtube.com/vi/GjaT1ZFhqJ0/mqdefault.jpg" type="text/html" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GjaT1ZFhqJ0?rel=0&wmode=transparent&enablejsapi=1" frameborder="0" height="180" width="320" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p>
<p> <br><strong>Will you join me? Can you help bring music back into the life of a senior? Or can you take some other small action to make this world a more peaceful place? I’d love to hear from you or have you share your actions on my Facebook page, where this article will also appear.</strong> <br> <br><strong>Thank you for caring.</strong> </p>
<p>From one little person to another, </p>
<p>Mary Sue</p>
<p>P.S. If you decide to donate a CD player to a senior – send me a picture of them with the CD player and I will send you my CD. Free. It’s my way to say thank you. And if you happen to live near me and want to donate a CD player, send me an email. I’ll load it with my CD and make sure it gets to someone who needs it. Thanks to my friends who have already taken this step I now have 6 CD players ready to go to good homes! <br> <br>P.P.S. Want to learn more about Tiyi? Read about her <a contents="here" data-link-label="Singing with Little Ones & Families" data-link-type="page" href="/singing-with-little-ones-families" target="_blank">here</a>. Tiyi and I made a children’s CD called "Ms. Tiyi’s Garden." Find it <a contents="here" data-link-label="Ms. Tiyi's Garden CD" data-link-type="page" href="/ms-tiyi-s-garden-cd" target="_blank">here</a>. I know you’ll love Tiyi’s inspirational story and related song called “Sticks and Stones.” Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can break your heart. </p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/48655722017-09-26T09:23:02-04:002017-09-26T09:23:33-04:00Here's What I Know for Sure... Everybody can sing.<p>Lois was a quiet woman who often sat in an easy chair just outside of our song circle. I always invited her to join us but she would almost always decline. As the singing started I would keep an eye on her to see if there were any songs that she seemed to particularly like. One day I saw her ever so quietly mouth a few words of a gospel song. Without making too much of it, because I didn’t want to embarrass her or scare her off, I softly commented that she seemed to like that song. I told her “I would love to have you sing it with us.” <br> <br>And that’s when she told me: <br> <br><strong>“Oh no, I don’t sing. My husband told me a long time ago that I was not a good singer and that I shouldn’t sing.” </strong><br> <br>Lois’ husband has been gone for many years. Lois has dementia and has difficulty remembering many things. But she remembers that she is not supposed to sing. Even though her husband is not here to remind her – she continues to believe this. And it breaks my heart. Because I can see a little voice inside her that would love to come out. I saw it when she quietly mouthed a few words to a song she loved. <br> <br>My mission is now clear. Using gentle persuasion, humor and respectful support, I will encourage Lois to sing. Lois is not alone. <br> <br><strong><em>So…what do I tell people when they tell me they can’t sing? <br> <br>I tell them - “That’s OK. You can just listen.” </em></strong><br> <br>Wait a minute. You thought I said everyone can sing and that I want people to sing. And now I’m telling you it’s OK to tell people they can just listen? <br> <br>Yes. And here’s why. <br> <br>Telling people it’s OK to “just listen” helps them feel safe enough to stay in proximity to the singing. And that’s the first step. Some people are so convinced they can’t sing, they actually believe they should leave the room. They may be embarrassed; they may worry that you’ll put them on the spot. So they simply leave. By telling people they can just listen, you give them the opportunity to observe and to see others joining in. It helps them relax. Then, once people have gained a comfort level with you as the song leader, and with the dynamics of the group, you will find that many will take baby steps to joining in. So here’s what happens next. <br> <br><em><strong> They listen. You observe and learn. </strong></em><br> <br>Remember that Lois quietly mouthed the words to one of her favorite gospel songs? If I had not been keenly observing her as she listened, I would not have picked up on this. I couldn’t know at the time how important that observation would be. For when I asked her if she liked the old hymns, she told me that her father had been a preacher in Alabama. Her brother had played guitar. Once I knew this, I was able to relate to her on a much deeper level. As I sang more southern gospel songs, her urge to sing along overcame the words of her late husband telling her not to sing. We sang hymn after hymn – <em>I’ll Fly Away, Do Lord, Power in the Blood </em>and more. And now, each time I sing with the group where she lives I make sure to include some of these hymns early on to get Lois started singing. <br> <br>Now there’s one more thing you need to know. And that is this. <br> <br><strong>What you DON’T say is just as important as what you do say. </strong><br> <br>Even though I REALLY want to, I never say “Oh, of course you can sing!” If, for whatever reason, someone truly believes they can’t or shouldn’t sing, you won’t convince them by telling them they have a good voice or that they truly can sing. <br> <br>What you <em>can</em> do is be patient and reassure them through gentle encouragement that this is different - that no one is judging. <br> <br>Here’s some other encouraging words you can try after folks have had some time to just listen. Said with a sense of humor, but without teasing, it can help create an environment where even reluctant singers will dip their toe in the water of group singing. <br> <br>“<em>No one has to audition for this choir.” “This is just for fun.” “No solos here.” “Would you like to join us now?” “I think you might know this song.” </em><br> <br>As my experience with Lois points out, finding the right music can really help increase engagement. If you need help with this – visit the <a contents="Resource Library" data-link-label="Resource Library" data-link-type="page" href="/resource-library" target="_blank">Resource Library</a> on my website for song lists and suggestions. <br> <br>In closing, why should we work so hard to get everyone singing? One of the reasons is because singing together creates community. But more on that next time when I add to this new series <em>Here’s What I Know for Sure</em>. </p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/48569382017-09-19T18:52:32-04:002017-09-19T18:52:32-04:00I Want to Live in a World Where . . .<p>I’ve been thinking a lot about our world lately. Perhaps you have too. Here are a few things on what I'm calling my '"musical manifesto." Go ahead and call me a dreamer or an idealist. I’m good with that. Because I know that when we each take an action, no matter how small, towards making this world a better place…well, it makes it a better place. Dreams become real. And ideals matter. </p>
<ul> <li>I want to live in a world where everyone sings and where everyone can experience the joy of making music together. </li> <li>I want to live in a world where music holds its place in our lives, even as we age. </li> <li>I want to live in a world where we reach for music and sing a song before we prescribe a medication to “manage behaviors.” </li> <li>I want to live in a world where the human voice in song is celebrated and where no one says “I can’t sing!” </li> <li>I want to live in a world where people can enjoy the memories triggered by the songs of their youth. </li> <li>I want to live in a world where everyone understands the power of music to help people living with dementia to connect, awaken memories and find joy. </li> <li>I want to live in a world where music is shelter. </li>
</ul>
<p>And that is why I created Singing Heart to Heart and the Young at Heart Music program, where I bring seniors together to sing, to tap toes, to clap hands, to nod, to dance to share stories and to laugh. And that is why I wrote <a contents="Songs You Know by Heart" data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart-a-simple-guide-for-using-music-in-dementia-care--2" target="_blank"><em>Songs You Know by Heart</em></a> so that everyone can learn more about how to access the benefits of music. </p>
<p>Because in the end, I truly believe, singing and happiness go hand in hand. </p>
<p><strong>What kind of world do you want to live in? Drop me a line. Let’s share our dreams for the kind of world we want to live in.</strong> </p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/48201362017-08-20T21:59:08-04:002017-08-21T10:38:07-04:00Why Does Ann Keep Playing Jingle Bells? The Story of a Concert Pianist, a Wedding and Jingle Bells<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/27ee60d70e1e3462469f65f4daa0f6b2de3e49e8/medium/senior-playing-piano.jpeg?1503280135" class="size_m justify_left border_" />Ann is a short woman with a round face framed by soft blonde gray hair. Today she’s wearing blue pants, sneakers, and a sweatshirt draped with Mardi Gras Beads – some are colorful and some spell<br>L-O-V-E. Around her waist is a wide canvas belt – the type the staff use to help lift people; despite the fact that Ann is totally mobile and needs no assistance. </p>
<p>I learn that today is Ann’s first day in a locked dementia care wing of a large nursing home. Her son is with her and I get the sense that she is experiencing this as a “visit” somewhere. She appears unconcerned and a bit curious about her surroundings. </p>
<p>The staff tell me Ann is a pianist. “She plays beautifully.” I unpack my guitar, greet her, and invite her to come sing with me. With only slight hesitation she stands near me and I begin to sing <em>You Are My Sunshine</em>. <strong>Ann’s smile is immediate as she recognizes the familiar song. She joins in, moving effortlessly between lower and higher harmony parts. Clearly this woman is an accomplished musician</strong>. My own happiness explodes as I experience the kinship and connection I always feel when I sing with other musicians. </p>
<p>Ann’s attention quickly wanders and she moves away, strolling down the corridor, chatting with her son. He guides her back to where I am singing and brings a chair for her to the edge of the group. As she sits down I catch her eye. We sing <em>Side by Side</em> and <em>Music Music Music</em>. We sing <em>The Old Gray Mare</em>. I break into <em>How Much is that Doggie in the Window</em>. She turns to her son to say “That’s a funny song.” </p>
<p><strong>Ann misses a few song lyrics here and there but I hear her beautiful harmony. On every song. </strong></p>
<p>Not surprisingly, Ann’s manners are fully in tact and she stops every few minutes to ask her son if he wants to sit down too. He reassures her that he is happy to stand by her side. </p>
<p>As the sing along continues I “work the room,” making eye contact with residents, most of whom are reclining in easy chairs. I make sure to keep contact with Ann, giving her big smiles, thumbs up signs and compliments on the harmonies she is contributing. </p>
<p>While Ann is engaged singing with me, her son slips out. It makes it easier for him to leave, knowing she is engrossed in the music and interacting with me. </p>
<p>And then it’s almost time for me to go. I wrap up with <em>God Bless America</em>. As the song begins, Ann’s face lights up and she moves closer to stand face to face with me. We lock eyes, both of us smiling, with Ann adding a perfect harmony. Her vibrato locks into mine as we sing the last line in unison. When the song ends we are both grinning ear to ear. I give her a big hug and thank her. I leave, knowing I have made a new musical friend. </p>
<p>Walking out to my car I meet up with Ann's son Ed. He tells me that his mom was a concert pianist. He tells me he hopes the staff can find a keyboard for her to play to help keep her busy. </p>
<p>And then Ed tells me this story. “Last summer I got married. I wanted my mom to play at the service. She has played at lots of weddings over the years. I had one concern. <strong>For the past two years every time my mother plays, no matter what piece of music she starts out with, she ends up playing <em>Jingle Bells</em>.</strong> I let the pastor know that this was likely to happen during the wedding. During the rehearsals she played the chosen music and then… <em>Jingle Bells</em>. I felt pretty sure it would happen during the ceremony. But I was willing to take that chance so that my mother could be part of my wedding.” </p>
<p>Ed admitted to feeling a bit apprehensive. He laughed as he told me that people probably thought he was just nervous about getting married - when what he was really wondering was “Will mom suddenly break into <em>Jingle Bells</em>?” </p>
<p>The day of the wedding arrived. Ed’s mother never missed a beat or a note. She played beautifully. No sign of <em>Jingle Bells</em>. </p>
<p>Ed and I talked about this. We shared a laugh and I thought about what a good son he was. His big smile told me how proud he was of his mother’s talent and how much he enjoyed this memory of her. </p>
<p><strong>So why does Ann always play <em>Jingle Bells</em>? </strong></p>
<p>The answer is really pretty simple. <em>Jingle Bells</em> is a song from her childhood. No doubt she sang it many, many times and It is deeply linked to memories of happy times. </p>
<p><strong>Research tells us that it is the songs of our youth that “stick” in our memory. We know that music and memory seem to be almost hardwired together in our brain. </strong></p>
<p><strong>For people living with dementia, music may be a way to access feelings and memories that are otherwise hard to reach or articulate. </strong></p>
<p>Each week I lead music and singing experiences with seniors, many of whom are living with dementia. <strong>Which songs bring the most smiles and the most vivid memories? The popular songs from their childhood and their youth -including the holiday songs, the patriotic songs and the songs of faith. The songs that are linked by emotion to our memories. We all have our own favorites - our own “<em>Jingle Bells</em>.” </strong></p>
<p>Music has been a gift in Ann’s life. As her dementia progresses, there may be many more renditions of <em>Jingle Bells</em>. I have no doubt that her family will happily sing along, appreciating her musical gift and the connection it allows them to have with her. </p>
<p>You can be sure I will be adding <em>Jingle Bells</em> to my repertoire for Ann. </p>
<p>Would <em>Jingle Bells</em> be on your list of songs that evoke strong memories? </p>
<p><strong>What’s your song? What’s your story?</strong></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/47090492017-05-15T10:59:17-04:002017-11-26T19:02:30-05:0013 Reasons to Sing with Your Grandchildren<div class="shareaholic-canvas" data-app="share_buttons" data-app-id="26966211">My first grandchild, Leon Carter Rose, was born this past week. As many of you know, being a grandparent is just about the best thing ever. I know this to be true from only four days’ experience! </div>
<p>I can’t wait to share musical fun with Leon. And of course, I’m already singing to him, every chance I get. There are so many good reasons to share music with children. And let’s have fun with music! Here are 13 reasons to sing with your grandchildren. Can you add to my list? Let’s share! </p>
<p><strong>Music is for Everyone</strong> </p>
<p>Singing is simple. You don’t need to be a great singer or a musician to enjoy it. </p>
<p>Music and singing is something everyone can participate in, together, regardless of age or physical or mental capacity. <br> </p>
<p><strong>Music Brings Joy </strong></p>
<p>Music is fun – that’s why we say we play music. </p>
<p>Music makes us happy! Literally! Singing and music experiences cause our brain to release “happiness hormones.” </p>
<p><br><strong>Music Sustains Creativity and Learning</strong> </p>
<p>Singing allows us to be creative. You can make up your own words to familiar tunes. </p>
<p>Music lets you use your imagination and pretend. Act out favorite nursery rhymes as you sing them. <strong>Ms. Tiyi’s Garden</strong>, Three Little Kittens and other story songs are especially fun when you add simple props. </p>
<p>Music invites us to move and dance. Mix it up with songs from different genres. Don’t hesitate to use classical music such as Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. Add some chiffon scarves to wave and dance with your grandchild. </p>
<p>Singing can teach you new things. Teach a child their phone number by singing the numbers to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. </p>
<p><br><strong>Music Serves as a Gentle (and Easy) Guide </strong></p>
<p>Singing’s not messy. It can be done anywhere, anytime. </p>
<p>Music can soothe us and help us relax. <strong>The Riddle Song</strong> is one of my favorite lullabies. </p>
<p>Music can help direct focus where you want it to go and ease transitions. Try singing “It’s time to wear your coat” to the tune of The Farmer in the Dell. </p>
<p>Singing gives little ones the opportunity to make choices. What songs should we sing? Shall we play Farmer in the Dell or London Bridge is Falling Down? </p>
<p>Finally, songs can make us laugh. In the song <strong>The Bad Hair Day</strong> there are animals living in the little girl’s hair! </p>
<p><em><strong><span style="color:#2980b9;">Note: All songs in bold are available on my CD</span><span style="color:#4e5f70;"> </span><a contents="Ms. Tiyi’s Garden" data-link-label="" data-link-type="album" href="/album/315314/ms-tiyi-s-garden" target="_blank"><span style="color:#4e5f70;">Ms. Tiyi’s Garden</span></a><span style="color:#2980b9;">. </span></strong></em></p>
<p><em><strong>What are your favorites? What songs did your mother sing to you? What songs do you sing to your grandchildren? What other ways have you had fun with music with your little ones? Please share in the comments.</strong><br><br>This blog article first appeared on the website 60 and Me. I encourage you to take a look at all of their amazing articles and great content.</em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/46827722017-04-24T11:42:30-04:002017-05-22T17:27:12-04:00Break the Silence in their Golden Years: Give Your Aging Parent the Gift of Music<div class="shareaholic-canvas" data-app="share_buttons" data-app-id="26966211"></div><p>I was talking with my friend Deb today. She recently shared my CD <a contents="Songs You Know by Heart&nbsp;" data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart CD" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart-cd" target="_blank">Songs You Know by Heart </a>with her mom. The CD is loaded with 18 old-time favorites and includes hits like You Are My Sunshine, Side by Side and Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree. She was sure her mom would love it. </p>
<p>But guess what? Deb’s mom didn’t have any way to play it. </p>
<p>Fortunately, Deb’s brother, who lives with their mom, went out and bought her a CD player. Deb’s mom then called her to say, “I’ve been listening to Mary Sue sing on her CD and I’ve had such a great day.” </p>
<p>Deb looked at me kind of funny as she was telling me this and said, “Wow! Who knew it could be so easy to make my mom happy and give her a good day.” </p>
<p>Deb’s comment got me to thinking. Do your parents or the older people in your life have access to the music they love, the music of their youth? </p>
<p><strong>Difficulties in Accessing Music </strong></p>
<p>We know that when a baby is born most people go to great lengths to surround their little ones with music. We just know that music is soothing and can make them happy. </p>
<p>Why is it that we don’t put the same emphasis on making sure our parents have access to music? </p>
<p>Do your parents hop on their computers or iPods or smart phones or access music the same way we do? Probably not. Do they even have a CD player? I’m sure some do. But for many, music has actually become harder to access. </p>
<p>Technology has changed so much that the term “new fangled” is barely adequate! </p>
<p>I’m pretty sure that if your iPod or your smart phone or your CD player stopped working, you would miss the role music plays in your life. </p>
<p>For many seniors, music has gone out of their lives, right at a time when it could be so beneficial. A simple Google search will open the door to volumes of research. Over and over, studies are showing the impact of music on memory, well-being and health. It’s all very compelling. Did you know that brain imaging has shown that music lights up more areas of the brain than any other human activity? </p>
<p>But on top of all that, everyone knows that the right music can make you just plain happy! And who doesn’t want that? There’s research about music and happiness, too. </p>
<p><strong>Bringing Back the Music to Your Aging Parents – A Dozen Easy Suggestions </strong></p>
<p>Can you help someone you care about gain access to the music they love? Can you bring back the music for their golden years? </p>
<p>Here’s is a list of a dozen easy suggestions for how you can do just that. Let me know how it goes! </p>
<p>First of all, go to my <a contents="website&nbsp;" data-link-label="Intro Page" data-link-type="page" href="/intro-page" target="_blank">website </a>and sign up to receive my free e-Book Finding Memories Through Music – A Family Interview. Use it to research what type of music your loved one enjoys. Personal preferences are important. </p>
<p>Start a personal collection of music for them in whatever format works best. CDs, iPod, record albums (yes, they’re still around), radio stations, Pandora, Spotify, YouTube. </p>
<p>Do your parents or grandparents still have a record player? If so, dust it off and play those records! Or buy one of the inexpensive models now available. Records are actually making a comeback and you are sure to be able to find many of the old albums that your parents or grandparents know and enjoy. </p>
<p>Plan a record party where the older adults share their favorite records with the younger folks in your family. Then, let the young folks share their favorites, too. </p>
<p>No record player? Provide a CD player that is easy to operate. Make sure you show them how to use it. Color code the key functions if necessary. Or write out the instructions. A comfortable set of headphones – rather than ear buds – can be helpful, too. </p>
<p>Purchase an iPod and headphones, load it with their favorite music and teach them how to use it. </p>
<p>If your older adult uses the computer, spend some time introducing them to Pandora or Spotify. If they are a bit more tech savvy, show them how to buy songs on iTunes so they can add to their own collections. </p>
<p>If you are helping to choose an assisted living residence for your loved one, find out if they provide music! If the residence where your family member lives doesn’t have a music program, offer to sponsor one. Get together with other families and share the cost. </p>
<p>Take the older adult in your life to concerts and music events. There are many opportunities to attend free school concerts, as well as ticketed events. </p>
<p>Help your family member find a radio station or a TV channel that plays music they like. Tune it in for them, then write down the call numbers or channel so they can listen regularly. </p>
<p>If your loved one is suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia, use music as a way to connect, awaken memories and bring joy. To learn more about this, purchase my book <a contents="“Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care.”" data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart-a-simple-guide-for-using-music-in-dementia-care--2" target="_blank">“Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care.”</a> Enter the code 6060 for a 20% discount when you buy it from my website. This discount will be good through April, 2017. </p>
<p>Plan a family sing along! There’s nothing like singing together in a group. Print out some simple song sheets so everyone has the lyrics. My website has <a contents="song guides" data-link-label="Song Guides" data-link-type="page" href="/song-guides" target="_blank">song guides</a> organized by decades and genres as well as lyrics to many, many songs. </p>
<p><em><strong>Are there any songs that you and your family love to sing together? What songs and music from their youth do your parents or the older people in your life enjoy? Which of these tips have you already tried?</strong></em> <br><br><em>This blog article first appeared on the website <a contents="60 and Me" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://sixtyandme.com" target="_blank">60 and Me</a>. I encourage you to take a look at all of their amazing articles and great content.</em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/46567682017-04-03T20:17:35-04:002017-05-22T17:27:52-04:00Finding Cherished Memories through Nostalgic Music<div class="shareaholic-canvas" data-app="share_buttons" data-app-id="26966211"> </div>
<p>My mom died when I was 35 years old. She was only 58. She’s been gone a long time now and sadly, memories do have a way of fading. Here’s one memory I do have. And it comes to me whenever I hear a certain song. </p>
<p>Let me explain. </p>
<p>When I was 12 years old my mother wouldn’t let me to go to the junior high dances. She insisted that I wait until I was 13. Imagine! Trust me, the months dragged on that year in seventh grade until my birthday in March. And then, be still my heart, I finally found myself at my first dance. </p>
<p><strong>A School Dance </strong></p>
<p>I remember the dimmed church basement and the crepe paper draped and drooping between the dark wooden beams of the low ceiling. I remember I was wearing a moss-colored, plaid kilt skirt and a matching soft, green sweater that I had gotten for Christmas. </p>
<p>And then it happened. </p>
<p>The boy I had been pining for, Skip Winne, asked me to dance. The song? <a contents="Cherish" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E55Ak8WCB1Q&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">Cherish</a> by the Association. To this day, whenever I hear that song I can see my handsome prince with his soft blonde hair and brown eyes. (Okay – I’m exaggerating – but he was cute!) </p>
<p>I can almost feel his tentative arms around me as we “danced” in that awkward way that only 13-year-olds can do, especially when the chaperones are lurking nearby. </p>
<p>I close my eyes and I am back in that church basement. I get a warm, fuzzy feeling as dreamy memories of my first boyfriend and my teenage years come flooding back. </p>
<p><strong>Experience the Power of Nostalgic Music </strong></p>
<p>Remembering Skip is fun. </p>
<p>But the best part of this story is how that song helps me remember my mom. </p>
<p>I remember staying up late that night, and so many other nights, talking about boys and eating potato chips. My mom was my best friend. That one song cracks open the door to so many cherished memories. </p>
<p>Okay, you get the picture, right? </p>
<p>So I bet you have a song and a story too. Maybe you’ve heard it recently on the golden oldies station? If you think about it, music has been accompanying you from your very first days when your mother sang you a lullaby. </p>
<p>Throughout the decades, music has changed and of course you have changed, too. But the songs of your youth are stored away in your brain. And no matter what happens, hearing those songs allows people to access memories that may at other times seem too far away to enjoy. </p>
<p>Music was likely part of your world as you learned to talk and walk. The simple songs of your childhood accompanied you when you played in the park, jumped rope or called out “Olly Olly Oxen Free.” </p>
<p>Remember how you learned to memorize the letters of the alphabet in a song? A, B, C, D, E, F, G… next time won’t you sing with me. </p>
<p>As you got a bit older, music on the radio may have been your companion as you dreamed about the boy or girl you wanted to date. The special song played for your first dance, like mine with Skip, may bring back a fond and surprisingly vivid memory. </p>
<p>Was there a road trip or school bus trip that found you singing at the top of your lungs? (99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall comes to my mind.) Did your family have a favorite song that you sang on long trips, crammed into the family station wagon, standing hip to hip around the piano or trying to avoid the smoke, perched around a campfire? </p>
<p>Wedding bells ring and music “walks you down the aisle.” Next thing you know you’re dancing in a conga line at the reception. Before you know it, your own babies are born and you find yourself singing the same lullabies your mother sang and teaching your little ones Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. </p>
<p><strong>Using Nostalgic Music to Engage Elders</strong> </p>
<p>In my work with <a contents="Singing Heart to Heart" data-link-label="Home" data-link-type="page" href="/home" target="_blank">Singing Heart to Heart</a> I use music to engage, connect, awaken memories and bring joy to elders, many of whom are living with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. The nostalgic music reaches them in a profoundly simple way, just as it does all of us. </p>
<p>Here’s an excerpt from my book <a contents="“Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care” " data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart-a-simple-guide-for-using-music-in-dementia-care--2" target="_blank"><em>“Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care”</em> </a>where you meet Bob and his response to the music of his youth. </p>
<p>“With a gentle smile, Bob shared with me that he had memory loss. He was trying to recall the name of one of his favorite songs. Not knowing the song title didn’t dampen his enthusiasm. As our music session began, he pushed up to his feet so that he could dance – often with his imaginary partner. He would hold “her” tenderly as he closed his eyes, wrapped his arms around himself, and caressed his own cheek. He swayed to the music and let the song take him to a place he remembered. </p>
<p>Bob likes rock and roll, Elvis, and “Blue Suede Shoes.” He could be any man on any dance floor. He laughs as he dances. When his wife visits I sing, “I’ll be loving you, always…” and they dance.” </p>
<p>Would Bob have responded this way to just any song? Would I remember that church basement and Skip and my mom if you played for me one of your favorite songs? Of course not. </p>
<p><strong>Finding the Right Nostalgic Music </strong></p>
<p>To find your way to memories you need the right music. </p>
<p>We all have personal preferences and personal experiences. And they matter! We grow up during different decades, in different places, in different families, in different cultures. We have our own musical history, linked to our personal history. </p>
<p>Don’t you wish your grandmother had written down her life story? What about that story grandpa always told about his younger days? </p>
<p>Guess what? </p>
<p>Nostalgic music is a perfect tool to help you capture those family memories and stories. Your brain is literally hard wired to connect music with memory! </p>
<p><em><a contents="Finding Memories Though Music: A Family Interview" data-link-label="finding-memories-thru-music-a-family-interview-3-16.pdf" data-link-type="file" href="/files/234629/finding-memories-thru-music-a-family-interview-3-16.pdf" target="_blank">Finding Memories Though Music: A Family Interview</a></em> is a keepsake guide I have written for you, to help you capture some of the wonderful memories that music “shakes loose.” You can use this interview to jog your own memory about the songs that have been the soundtrack for your life. Or, use it to learn more about your parents or the elders in your life. </p>
<p>What’s more, it’s free and you can get it on my website. Why am I giving this away? Because I am so thankful for the beauty of music in my own life and because I know how powerful music is as a tool to help us connect. </p>
<p>Let music be your guide to making and preserving family memories. Let it help you establish greater connection with family members both young and old. </p>
<p><strong>What’s your favorite nostalgic music? What song tells your story?</strong><br><br><em>This blog article first appeared on the website <a contents="60 and Me" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://sixtyandme.com/finding-cherished-memories-through-nostalgic-music/" target="_blank">60 and Me</a>. I encourage you to take a look at all of their amazing articles and great content.</em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/46174062017-03-05T14:48:07-05:002017-05-22T17:28:27-04:00Three Top Tips for Tuning into Singing: Insights from Finland<div class="shareaholic-canvas" data-app="share_buttons" data-app-id="26966211"></div><p><strong>By Deborah Shouse, Dementiajourney.org - Guest Blogger</strong></p>
<p>Mom was staring into space, oblivious to my brilliant smiles and cheerful conversation. So I started to sing, just to occupy myself. I chose songs Mom liked, such as <em>Oh <img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/93e3a391b62a2d063d5dde3d4607b141d569ce44/small/114584-you-are-my-sunshine.jpg?1488743383" class="size_s justify_right border_" />What a Beautiful Morning, A Summer Place</em>, and Y<em>ou Are My Sunshine</em>. Normally, I felt a little down when I didn’t really get to connect with Mom during my visits. But after a half-hour of being a one-woman show, I felt uplifted and energized. And Mom seemed to be making a sound much like humming. </p>
<p>Singing was often a part of my time with Mom. I’ve always felt happy after “making a joyful noise.” Now a study from Dr. Teppo Sarkamo and his colleagues in Helsinki, Finland, explains why. </p>
<p>Dr. Sarkamo’s research found that “regular musical activities can have an important role in maintaining cognitive ability, enhancing mood and quality of life” for people living with mild to moderate dementia. These activities also promote the well being of care partners and offer a beneficial leisure activity for the person living with dementia and the care partner. </p>
<p><strong>Invite Out Your Inner “American Idol” </strong></p>
<p>You don’t need special musical abilities to benefit from listening to music or singing. The research shows that incorporating simple musical activities in daily care is “a cost-efficient way for offering emotionally, cognitively stimulating, and enriching musical experiences.” </p>
<p>The study’s music therapist, Sari Laitinen, kindly offered these ideas for care partners and the person living with dementia. </p>
<ol> <li>Reserve enough time together to spend with the music. The main thing is feeling peaceful together. When singing, choose the songs together from a songbook. In our research project, we prepared a song booklet of our own for the participants, which mostly included well-known Finnish sing-a-long songs from their early years: childhood, teenage years and early adulthood. The care partner can begin by humming a melody first, and if their partner recognizes the song, they can start singing it together. Usually, the partner knows the lyrics “by heart” and their memory retrieval is quite automatic. </li> <li>Usually the songs bring about personal, autobiographical memories related to the life era and events when the songs were popular. Allow the reminiscence of your partner to proceed on its own time and terms, accepting the stories and not immediately correcting if the people or places happen to be incorrect. You want a mutual feeling of telling each other important things about life. It is all about acceptance and the understanding that something important is shared. The feeling of being understood helps to cope with life. </li> <li>Listening to music is based on the same principles as singing together: the care partner can suggest some records he/she thinks are meaningful and see what happens. When asking your partner to choose the record, it is good to have some LPs or CDs with a photo of the artist on the cover. Again, it is nice to have a quiet place for the listening and time to share the stories and the feelings that the music evokes. It is good to keep in mind that although the songs are familiar from a long time ago, the experience of music is always “here and now”. By experiencing the music together and by being sensitive to the “reactions” (emotions, thoughts, memories) evoked by the music, the care partner can offer acceptance and validation of the experiences, the feeling of being understood. Given time, this can lead the discussion from the reminiscence of old times to themes that are important now, such as acceptance of the lived life, mourning of losses, joy in the moment, feeling of vitality, strengthening the feeling of life and so on. </li>
</ol>
<p>For more information, visit: </p>
<p><a contents="Singing is beneficial for memory and mood especially in early dementia&nbsp;" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.j-alz.com/content/singing-beneficial-memory-and-mood-especially-early-dementia" target="_blank">Singing is beneficial for memory and mood especially in early dementia </a></p>
<p><em>Clinical and Demographic Factors Associated with the Cognitive and Emotional Efficacy of Regular Musical Activities in Dementia, Teppo Sarkamo, Sari Laitinenb, Ava Numminenc, Merja Kurkib, Julene K. Johnson, and Pekka Rantanene </em></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/3e595adc82c7e712cd9b69709e284d443daca88f/small/deborah-head-shot-smallt.gif?1488743187" class="size_s justify_left border_" />Deborah Shouse is a writer, speaker, editor, former family caregiver, and dementia advocate. Deborah’s latest book, Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together, features dozens of experts in the field of creativity and dementia. These innovators share ideas that engage the creative spirit so you can continue to experience meaningful moments of connecting. Deborah and her partner Ron Zoglin raised more than $80,000 for dementia programs by donating all proceeds from her initially self-published book, Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey, to dementia-based non-profits. Central Recovery Press has since published an updated version of Love in the Land. To learn more, about Deborah and her work, visit <a contents="DementiaJourney.org" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://dementiajourney.org" target="_blank">DementiaJourney.org</a></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/44986362016-12-06T16:58:49-05:002017-05-22T17:28:52-04:00Unwrapping the True Gifts of Music<div class="shareaholic-canvas" data-app="share_buttons" data-app-id="26966211"></div><p>Have you started shopping for the holidays? <br> <br>I bet you’d like your gift giving to be meaningful and bring you closer together to the people you love. <br> <br>One of my favorite Christmas gifts costs nothing. Better yet, I receive this same gift year after year and I never grow tired of it. Here’s why. <br> <br>For years I sang <em>Oh Holy Night</em> standing next to my mother in church. We would harmonize and our voices were perfectly matched. After she passed away it was years before I could sing that song. I just couldn’t do it without crying. It’s been over 25 years since she’s been gone. I miss her still – especially this time of year. But now – I can sing <em>Oh Holy Night</em>. It makes me happy to remember my mom even as I revisit the sadness of missing her. <br> <br>That song is now a gift to me. <br> <br>The holidays are a time when the music we hear can seem even more powerful, plunging us deep into memories and eliciting a strong emotional response. Happy or sad - and just like the memory of my mother - often happy and sad at the same time! <br> <br>We all have these emotional memories linked to music. <br> <br>For people living with dementia, the songs of the season may be even more powerful; literally giving them access to memories and feelings that at other times may seem too far away to enjoy. <br> <br>The songs of our youth, including so many well known holiday songs, are stored away in a part of the brain that is often less damaged by dementia. <br> <br>Because of that, it is one of the most precious gifts we can give to someone living with memory loss. <br> <br><em>Oh Holy Night</em> gives me a sweet memory of my mother. I can literally feel the warmth of her love. And even though she is gone, I can enjoy a sense of connection to her. <br> <br>I spend my days singing with older adults – many of whom are living with dementia. Each day I see the music crack open the memories. I hear the stories, the memories. And I feel the love. <br> <br>Awakening memories and feelings, connecting and sharing joy – these are the gifts of music. <br> <br>And aren’t they the best gifts anyone could receive? <br> <br>Wishing you all a holiday season that brings you beautiful music and fond memories, as well as the opportunity to create new memories with your loved ones and friends. <br> <br>Mary Sue <br> <br>PS. Need some help finding a good list of holiday songs, including lyrics? Check out the Resource Library on my website.</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/44886752016-11-29T14:31:39-05:002017-05-22T17:29:06-04:005 Tips for Using Music when Visiting People with Dementia<div class="shareaholic-canvas" data-app="share_buttons" data-app-id="26966211"></div><p><span class="font_small"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/1700f771eb9534b6ace10da664dab829af40dc2b/original/janet-and-marilyn.jpg?1480447300" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></span><br>The holiday season often means visiting with family and friends. Picture this familiar holiday scene: Friends and family you haven't seen in awhile are stopping by. Large groups of people are gathered and lots of conversations are going on at once. Children are running around underfoot. Meal times and regular routines go out the window. Even for those of us not living with dementia, the normal holiday whirlwind can be stressful. </p>
<p><strong>For people living with dementia, the holidays can be truly overwhelming. </strong></p>
<p>Whether your loved one lives at home or in a care residence, it's likely that old friends and family members will want to visit. They may actually be nervous or hesitant to do so because they are not sure how they should act, or what they should say or do. <a contents="Teepa Snow" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.teepasnow.com" target="_blank">Teepa Snow</a> has written a valuable <a contents="list of suggestions" data-link-label="Christmas Resources" data-link-type="page" href="/christmas-resources" target="_blank">list of suggestions</a><a contents="list of suggestions&nbsp;" data-link-label="Christmas Resources" data-link-type="page" href="/christmas-resources" target="_blank"> </a>for making those visits happy and meaningful - for everyone. </p>
<p><strong>Here are my 5 tips for how to include music (the great equalizer) into your visits. </strong></p>
<p>1. When conversations are difficult, or even impossible, turn to music. Singing together and listening to music can bring happiness regardless of skill or memory. <br><br>2. Bring music with you to your visit – either holiday music or music popular when they were young. Plan ahead and then share it by saying “I brought some music I thought we could enjoy together.” If the person you are visiting does not have a CD player in their room, bring one from home, borrow one from the activity director or consider purchasing one as a gift. (You can purchase or download my CD <a contents="here" data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart CD" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart-cd" target="_blank">here</a>.) <br><br>3. Sing well known and simple songs together such as You Are My Sunshine, My Bonny Lies Over the Ocean, I’ve Been Working on the Railroad. Or choose well known holiday songs. Often times it is the holiday songs that evoke the strongest response from people, bringing a powerful connection. Even singing one or two songs will lift spirits – for everyone. <br><br>4. Involve your children or grandchildren in planning a musical visit. Give them the job of figuring out what was popular when your loved one was in their 20's and 30's and downloading that music to play during the visit. Let them use their smart phone to make a playlist. Do they have a wireless speaker they could bring along? If your loved one asks for a song you don't have ready, simply go to You Tube to find it. <br><br>5. Add some energy and fun to your musical time together by patting and clapping to the beat or dancing together either standing or seated holding hands. </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>They may not remember who you are, but they will remember how you made them feel.</strong></em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/44778442016-11-21T17:01:41-05:002017-05-22T17:29:25-04:00Practicing What I Preach<div class="shareaholic-canvas" data-app="share_buttons" data-app-id="26966211"></div><p>There was the year everyone got stuck in the snow trying to drive up the hill to get to our house. <br> <br>There was the year no one wanted to play the game I thought would be so much fun – but they played anyway. <br> <br>There was the year I had chickenpox and had to watch my brother and cousins play outside without me. <img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/08f62018bd9bfd9350985605efba61d862b11bc2/medium/img-4181.jpg?1479765669" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" /><br> <br>There was the year I was on the South Beach diet and I faithfully substituted ricotta cheese, flavored with pumpkin, for pumpkin pie. (Not as bad as it sounds.) <br> <br>There was the year Aunt Dory couldn’t make the gravy because she had had a glass of champagne - and that was enough to do her in. <br> <br>Random memories of big family gatherings. Some as a child, usually on the farm in Iowa with grandparents and my aunt and uncle and cousins. Some as a grownup, often at our “big house on the hill”, as my father-in-law used to call it. <br> <br>Today I live alone and waking up on Thanksgiving morning, with no need to feed people or set the table, or even get out of my bathrobe, I allowed myself a bit of a pity party. <br> <br>Before you start feeling sorry for me. Don’t. <br> <br>I am loved by family near and far. Sure my ex-husband has moved on, but still… I have the best friends anyone could ask for. And my life is rich with meaningful things to do and powerful connections with people. Besides I’ll be joining some of those amazing friends in an hour or two and there will be real pie.</p>
<p>But this morning – during the pity party – when I was feeling down and lonely - I reminded myself of what I tell the seniors that I sing with each week. Yes, I often hand out free advice along with the songbooks. <br> <br><strong>“Fake it ‘til you make it”</strong> I tell them. Now there’s a good one I thought. So, after I had a one-minute cry, I gave my dog the egg and toast I no longer wanted and I actually forced myself to smile. The egg and toast made him really happy and that actually gave me a reason to smile. “Turn your frown upside down.” <br> <br>OK – that worked for a bit. But I felt the sadness creeping back. <br> <br><strong>Reach out and touch - I mean text - someone</strong>. I didn’t want to call people and interrupt their holiday. But I knew that telling my friends and family how thankful I am for them would fill my heart with good feelings. This not only gave me something to do for a good half hour but I could feel it helping me sustain happy thoughts. A small message can mean a lot. <br> <br>Step three in ending the “pity party” was to <strong>put on some music</strong>. Why I didn’t think of this first, heaven only knows! I started with a sentimental song that let me wallow in my loneliness for about 3 minutes and 40 seconds. (In case you don’t know, that’s the typical length of a song on the radio. This falls under the category of “free trivia”, as opposed to “free advice”.) <br> <br>I then carefully chose a CD that I had purchased at an amazing concert I attended this fall. Natalie MacMaster and Donnell Leahy play Cape Breton fiddle music. Talk about lively and uplifting! It raised my spirits right away and had the added bonus of reminding me of my friend who had invited me to the concert and what fun we had. <br> <br>The frown turned upside down, the messages to friends, and most of all the music – all helped transform my “pity party” into a day of thankfulness and happiness. <br> <br>This has been a day of sweet memories and reflections and a good lesson for me to “practice what I preach.” <br> <br>PS. Did I mention that it’s raining today? No worries. As the song goes “Let a Smile Be Your Umbrella”. <br> <br>PPS. I’m still in my bathrobe.</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/44462952016-11-03T07:00:00-04:002017-01-15T21:45:32-05:00Lose on the Left, Retain on the Right - No this isn't about politics!<span class="font_regular">“Lose on the left, retain on the right.” Did you think I was talking about politics? No way!<br><br>What I’m referring to is what happens in the brain of someone who has dementia.<br><br>But let’s back up. I want to talk about children. Aren’t 18 month old toddlers just precious? (Well most of the time.) If you look at a brain scan of an 18 month old you will see areas that are not fully developed. No surprise there! Clearly they are not capable of living on their own and they lack many skills. But no one looks at an 18 month old child and sees their limits. We see possibilities! We focus on what they CAN do – not on what they can’t do. </span>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/ff4d1d358858b8dc0896120b9aad7cb1cd40d0b6/medium/msw-and-baby-girl-copy.jpg?1477961275" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" /></p><br><span class="font_regular">Did you know that a brain scan of a person with dementia looks a lot like that of the 18 month old? And yet – we tend to focus only on what that person CAN’T do. Understandably, it is easy to become frustrated and deeply saddened by their loss of skills.<br><br>Teepa Snow in her Positive Approach to Care TM teaches that if we focus solely on the loss of skills we miss a huge opportunity to provide meaningful moments of engagement, happiness and connection. Teepa talks about “Losing on the left and retaining on the right”. By that she means that most all people with dementia lose language, vocabulary and speech which is stored and controlled on the left side of the brain.<br><br>But here’s the “gift” as she calls it. They retain the following – located on the right side of the brain.<br><br>1. The ability to engage in social (automatic) chit chat. “How are you?” etc.<br>2. Forbidden words including swear words, ugly words, sex talk and even racial slurs.<br>3. The ability to respond to music, poetry, prayer and rhythm.<br>4. Rhythmic movement clapping, dancing.<br><br>Why are these retained? VERY simply put- these things are hooked to emotions.<br><br>Our opportunity, as we navigate the challenging waters of caring for people with dementia, is to learn to use the gifts retained on the right – the social chit chat, the music and the rhythmic movement to stay connected, to maintain our relationships and to provide meaningful activities.<br><br>We wouldn’t dream of expecting a toddler to function beyond their skill level. We know we’re the ones that have to plan ahead, to adapt, to change what we are doing to ensure their happiness and safety. Successful care for them means we meet them at their level, follow their lead and applaud and focus on their skills. When we do that they “light up”. You could say they shine.<br><br>People living with dementia are not toddlers and should not be treated like children. But as Teepa Snow says; <br><br><strong>"In the right setting and with the right care everyone can shine.”</strong></span>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/44461512016-10-31T19:12:28-04:002016-10-31T19:19:49-04:00Here's a Halloween song for you!<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/H1Ff1Lvemow" width="560"></iframe>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/43196272016-08-10T23:19:01-04:002017-05-22T17:30:30-04:00What's on your playlist?<div class="shareaholic-canvas" data-app="share_buttons" data-app-id="26966211"></div><p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/9143425f44fd100ab031c42213c8af85bbc2e4c7/medium/13872785-10154486901218689-4526043591899971334-n.jpg?1470885197" class="size_m justify_center border_" />I just returned from a 4 day reunion with 7 of my high school girlfriends. We grew up in Dubuque, Iowa but we met in Colorado in the mountains, where we laughed so long and so hard we could barely catch our breath. The thin mountain air didn't help!<br><br>One of my friends, Robin, had put together a play list of hundreds of songs popular in the early 1970's. OK - go ahead and say it - "I didn't think you were that old Mary Sue!" Thank you. :)<br><br><strong>For hours on end Robin's Ipad playlist and Debbie's wireless speaker helped transport us back to our high school years; sparking fond memories, funny memories, serious memories, family memories.</strong> We talked about Jr. High dances, we talked about the VietNam war, we talked about the Beatles, we talked about boys and football games and weddings and first dates. We tried to guess who was singing. Was it Joan Baez? Was it Judy Collins? Was it Joni Mitchell? <br><br><strong>We talked about how we want our children to play these songs for us if we are ever unable to access them ourselves. We talked about how we better write down this list so our kids will know how to reach us through the music of our youth. </strong><br><br>I spend my days singing the songs people in their 80's and 90's recall from their youth. I see the happiness it brings them. My trip reminded me that music reaches everyone - all of us. The songs of our youth. <br><br><strong>What's on your playlist?</strong></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/42531032016-06-28T15:03:14-04:002017-01-15T21:45:31-05:005 Family Friendly Summertime Jokes- Just Because!<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/a2f17326e1c2fcb5dce33a64abf9274169e0f350/small/sunshine.jpg?1467140354" class="size_s justify_left border_" />Are you gathering with family and friends over the holiday weekend? Want to be the life of the party? Here are five family friendly, summertime jokes sure to bring on a groan. Because sometimes you just want to laugh! <br><br>Why is Cinderella so bad at sports? (Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.)<br><br>Why do bicycles fall over? (Because they're too-tired.)<br><br>How does the ocean say hello? (It waves.)<br><br>Why did the sun go to school? (To get brighter.)<br><br>And my personal favorite...<br><br>Why did the cantaloupe jump in the lake? (It wanted to be a watermelon.) <br> Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/42429722016-06-23T17:19:37-04:002019-06-08T18:50:44-04:005 Favorite Songs for the 4th!<p style="text-align: center;"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/6644ae850817eba265561305c709ebb4a907e32f/original/flag-banner.jpg?1466716698" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Are you looking for an activity that will bring everyone together, lift spirits, honor your elders and instill a patriotic spirit for your children? Look no further. Nothing brings people together better than a rousing patriotic song. July 4th is a celebration for everyone. So grab your sparklers, make the potato salad and use these resources to add music to your celebration. Follow<a contents=" this link" data-link-label="Patriotic Resources" data-link-type="page" href="/patriotic-resources" target="_blank"> </a><b><a contents=" this link" data-link-label="Patriotic Resources" data-link-type="page" href="/patriotic-resources" target="_blank">this link</a> </b>for song lyrics for 5 favorite songs for the 4th, as well as You Tube links for rousing versions of more great patriotic music. <br><br>Happy Fourth of July!</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/42315152016-06-16T14:59:26-04:002017-01-15T21:45:31-05:00Fathers Can Change - A Tribute to My Dad<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/fde1e23a03b3662893d8a6362cd3d317a0a26070/original/jesse-jack-trimmed.jpg?1466103537" class="size_l justify_center border_" />My dad was not the guy who played with you in the back yard. His playground was the golf course, a game I never really “took to”. My mom, who passed away 26 years ago, was my best friend and confidant. Dad was more likely to say “This too shall pass.” Or “We’ll get it handled.” Years ago I didn’t really want to hear that and I know he would agree with my assessment that we often butted heads. If you had told me then that my dad would become my best friend and confidant, I would have said “In your dreams.” <br> <br>But things change. During my mother’s long illness we spent a lot of time together and I saw a side of him I had never seen before as he nurtured and lovingly cared for her every need. When my son was born, during my mom’s last month of life, my dad bonded with him in a way I am sure he never did with either my brother or I when we were little. Don’t get me wrong – he didn’t’ change diapers – but still. They formed a relationship that thrives to this day. <br> <br>Fast forward about 20 years, to a time when my world came apart at the seams. Somehow without me even telling him, my dad knew something was wrong and stepped in to offer me the unconditional love and support I desparately needed. Along with that he threw in some great advice and even some financial support. But the most important thing he did was listen to me and let me talk and talk and talk. He always had time and was relentless in his follow up to make sure I was OK <br> <br>Life has settled down for me but Dad’s support and interest in my life continues to this day. My brother Clark reports the same. <br> <br>Clark and I were lucky to have a strong, loving mom when we were growing up. She raised us up. And after she was gone, our dad stepped in. She would be so proud of him. And I could not love him more. Happy Fathers Day Dad!</p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/40864002016-03-13T22:55:35-04:002017-01-15T21:45:31-05:00A Singing Phone Call<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/4ffdfd9a89cf479f865b638656bf08604910de4a/medium/person-woman-hand-smartphone.jpg?1457923990" class="size_m justify_center border_" />Have you ever called a family member or a friend on their birthday to sing Happy Birthday to them? In my family this is a common occurrence. When family or friends are far away this simple act lets them know you care. And always brings a smile. <br> <br>What if your loved one has Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia? Talking on the phone can be a challenge. It might leave you feeling discouraged and your loved one feeling confused. But what if you still want to connect with them? What if you just want them to know you haven’t forgotten them, and that you love them? <br> <br>One of my friends solved this problem. She lives far away from her dad who is living with dementia. She wants to stay connected to him and she would do anything just to brighten his day. Here's her story.<br><br>"My father went to a home in Cadillac in late November, and I live in Mason, by Lansing. So I don't get to see him very often. I started calling him, but he couldn't understand me, and I couldn't understand him. So I started singing and he, of course, started singing along (one word behind mine). So now I call everyday, and we try to start a conversation, but quickly he will say, "Are you going to sing?" and of course I sing. And, if my 8 year old granddaughter is nearby, she will join in!"<br><br>My thoughtful friend takes a simple extra step to make sure the calls are successful. </p>
<p>First, she calls the home where he lives and alerts the caregivers that she is about to call. She asks them to turn off the TV in his room and to make sure the speaker is on for his phone. <br> <br>Why does she do this? Because she knows that people with dementia often have a hard time sorting out the sounds around them. Competing with the TV would not be a good idea. <br> <br>She then places the call and greets her father. Each time she sings a familiar old song such as <em>Let Me Call You Sweetheart, My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean, Home on the Range, For He's a Jolly Good Fellow or When You're Smiling. </em>The calls last only 3 or 4 minutes. She tells me “I don’t stay on the phone long. I just share a song or two and tell him I love him. We always end with the chorus of <em>You Are My Sunshine</em>. We sing it at least twice. It’s one small way I can stay connected.” <br> <br>Is it worth it? <br> <br>Her dad proudly tells my friend’s sister and her brother about the calls and the songs. And my friend has a little bit of peace of mind, knowing that even though she is far away she is able to share her love and a moment of joy with her dad. </p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/40754602016-03-06T13:58:10-05:002017-01-15T21:45:31-05:00No Heat But a Great Connection!<p>I woke up from an early evening nap this week (don’t judge me) to discover that my house had grown decidedly chilly. <br> <br>Poking all the buttons on my shiny new thermostat did not create the desired result. I strained my ears hoping to hear the familiar and comforting sound of the furnace clicking on. Nothing. <br> <br>I visited the basement, hoping for a simple solution. I know nothing about furnaces. Staring at it, touching it, and wishing for it to work – well all it did was leave me as confused and cold as ever. <br> <br>My first call was to my neighbor Dave. He is often my first call. When you live alone it’s good to have connections with nice neighbors like Dave. Dave is a nurse, a former pilot, and an all around handy, helpful, heck of a guy. <br> <br>Dave brought his flashlight but could only confirm my suspicions. Installed in 1989, my heating unit was now 27 years old - which translates to oh, say, 100 years old in furnace years. <br> <br>Next step. I reluctantly, and yet hopefully, placed a call to the company that had replaced my thermostat in the fall and who (in full disclosure) had warned me then that I needed to consider getting a new furnace. <br> <br>Within an hour a friendly voice was calling me back. And here’s where it starts to get good. <br> <br>“I know you Mary Sue! I met you this summer when we both helped Amber at the music festival.” <br> <br>Thanks to my connection with Amber, I had just connected with Jason; fellow musician, and thankfully THE furnace repairman of choice for many of my friends. I could relax now, knowing that Jason was a friend, that he would give me good advice and that he would literally fix my problem. <br> <br>I added an extra blanket to my bed and went to sleep. <br> <br>The next morning Jason arrived at 8 am. After some discussion, and upon his recommendation, it was agreed that I needed a new furnace. Because of my connection with, and trust in, Jason, this was an easy decision. I’ve never bought a furnace before. Not to be too dramatic here, but working with Jason helped me to feel safe as I navigated this new territory. (Note – that I didn’t say paying for it would be easy!) <br> <br>As I left that morning I told Jason I would be in and out throughout the day doing my work singing with seniors. It was then he told me that his mom has Alzheimer’s and that his dad is doing 24-hour care for her. He told me he has taken his guitar there to play for her but that she doesn’t seem interested. I asked what he had been playing and he said “Just nice, easy listening music.” <br> <br>Thus began our discussion about how important the right selection of music is when you are trying to use music to connect with a loved one living with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. <br> <br>Jason and I talked about this. When I pointed out that the music that would touch his mom needed to be music from her youth, he quickly realized he could ask his dad or look up what the hits were during her younger days. A simple Google search can lead to lists of hits from every decade. Jason can find out what music was played at their wedding and think back to his own childhood. Did they sing in the car as a family? Are there songs of faith that are meaningful to his mom? <br> <br>This chain of events got me to thinking about how important these connections are in our lives. <br>Those of us not living with memory loss can easily take this ability to connect for granted. <br> <br>For people with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia, the inability to connect through language and “normal” every day interactions is perhaps the most cruel impact of the disease. It can leave care partners feeling helpless and everyone feeling isolated. <br> <br>This is a story about how one connection led to another and then another. Through simple conversations and through music, there were numerous positive outcomes. <br> <br>Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia are affecting millions of people. </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/9e75047556072dcb08238715953036fd5725f68e/medium/msw-on-sofa-with-woman-copy.jpg?0" class="size_m justify_right border_" />Is there someone you can connect with to spread the word about the power of music? Do you want to learn more? Connect with me on my website www.SingingHeartToHeart.com for more resources. <br> <br><em>Mary Sue Wilkinson is the author of “Songs You Know By Heart: A Simple Guide for Using Music in Dementia Care”. The book includes contributions from leading dementia care specialist Teepa Snow and Mary Sue’s recording of 18 favorite sing along songs. Available on Amazon.com as well as on her website www.SingingHeartToHeart.com. Her E –Book “Finding Memories through Music: A Family Interview” is available on her website. <br> </em></p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/40665142016-02-29T21:03:23-05:002017-01-15T21:45:31-05:00Hey! Get a Move On Why Don't Ya?!<p>Do you find yourself tapping your toes or snapping your fingers to lively music? Do you like to dance? Have you ever tried Zumba or Jazzercise? </p>
<p>Young or old, we all tend to respond almost automatically to music. And while one of my pet peeves is treating seniors like children, when it comes to music and movement, age just doesn’t matter in terms of finding ways to get active. <br> <br>For little ones cooped up in the house this winter a dance party is just the cure. For seniors – guess what? Same deal. Little ones may be floating or marching or skipping around the room while someone who uses a wheelchair or with limited mobility may be responding only with their arms or marching in their seat. The result is the same – it feels good and you know it’s good for you! <br> <br>Music makes us want to move. So, get a move on with music! <img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/c3640089e0176f4a04d8f31c2a3253fecb734fd4/medium/dancing-with-tink-b.jpg?0" class="size_m justify_right border_" /><br><br>Keep reading for a few general tips to get your started: </p>
<ul> <li>Songs that have a strong beat inspire marching and clapping. Use them! </li> <li>Keep the pace manageable. Songs that are too fast can create a frenzy with little ones and will likely annoy older adults. </li> <li>Provide variety. Start with something mid tempo. Pick up the pace and then add a waltz. Each will inspire a different type of movement. </li> <li>Keep the movement sessions short. For little ones this honors their short attention span. For elders it is respectful of their stamina. </li> <li>Make a simple plan and get the music ready ahead of time. For each song have a suggested movement ready and then be ready to follow their lead if they think of new ways to move. </li> <li>Be a leader. “Show” the music with enthusiastic gestures and by demonstrating. </li>
</ul>
<p> </p>Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/39412362015-11-30T12:06:21-05:002017-01-15T21:45:31-05:00Unplug and Get Moving: 6 Big Reasons to Download Music and Use Wireless Speakers Have you ever lost your voice? If you are a singer like me, it’s enough to drive you crazy! Lucky me, I caught whatever was going around and for the last two weeks I have literally not been able to sing.<br><br><strong>I’ve learned that using recorded music has some very real benefits.</strong><br><br>Case in point - my regular visit with the ladies who live at French Manor. Using only carefully chosen recorded music, we had one of the best music sessions ever – even though I couldn’t sing. With my hands free I was able to lead movements to accompany almost every song. The energy and laughter in the room skyrocketed as we patted and swayed and danced in our chairs. Adding egg shakers for percussion, chiffon scarves for dance partners and straw batons for conducting made for even more fun. So much fun that one of the staff members grabbed her phone to make a video. <img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/0831b0d76a38884a60a91bb71398fe717704c35e/medium/touch-hands-copy.jpg?1448903116" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" /><br> <br>One resident at Traverse Manor recently said “I didn’t know we were going to get exercise class too. This is fun!” And she's right. It IS fun! <br><br>So here you go…<em> </em><br> <div style="text-align: center;"><strong>6 Big Reasons to “Go Wireless”</strong></div>
<ol> <li>
<strong>You can lead a sing along</strong> <strong>anywhere</strong> -even if you yourself are afraid to sing in front of others. (Note that I didn’t say – even if you can’t sing. Because I think everyone can sing!)</li> <li>You can use recorded music to <strong>get people moving</strong>! For seniors who are chair bound, just add simple arm and leg movements to the beat of the music. For more mobile adults– add marching, skipping and dancing.</li> <li>You can <strong>choose</strong> from <strong>thousands of songs</strong>. Enjoy favorites over and over and choose the music based on the mood you want to create.</li> <li>
<strong>You can have a music session even when I’m not there!</strong> Teepa Snow recommends having music for 10 minutes several times throughout the day for people with dementia.</li> <li>
<strong>It’s cheap!</strong> Wireless speakers start at about $30 and go up from there. Downloading songs is inexpensive too. <strong> You can download my CD “Songs you Know By Heart” which features 18 favorites that are easy to sing along with for only $10 on my website.</strong>
</li> <li>Wireless speakers are small and portable. <strong>You can use them anywhere.</strong> You don’t even need a power outlet.</li>
</ol><strong>Ready to lead your own music session using recorded music? Click <a contents="here " data-link-label="Songs You Know By Heart" data-link-type="page" href="/songs-you-know-by-heart" target="_blank">here </a>to preview and purchase my CD "Songs You Know By Heart".<br><br>Bonus: Click <a contents="here" data-link-label="Music Track & Links" data-link-type="page" href="/music-track-links" target="_blank">here</a> for a free download of My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean and videos to show you how to add movement to the song. </strong><br><br> Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/39261662015-11-19T20:30:38-05:002017-01-15T21:45:31-05:00Are Headphones and IPods Enough?<span class="font_regular"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/e376ecdbdcd583d94c3d69b932a207929f1dc95b/medium/msw-and-woman-in-chair-copy.jpg?1447983367" class="size_m justify_right border_none" alt="" />When I saw the film “Alive inside” for the first time last year I got all excited. The film tells about the <a contents="Music and Memory " data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://musicandmemory.org/">Music and Memory </a>project which supplies headphones and IPods loaded with personalized music selections for residents in nursing homes. I couldn’t wait to tell my music therapist friend Chris about it. Chris is a highly skilled and experienced music therapist. Her response surprised me a little. She challenged me to think more deeply about this. She asked,<br> </span><br><strong> “What’s the good of just putting headphones on people if it still leaves them isolated and disconnected from real people?”</strong><br> <br>My first thought was, I admit a bit defensive. There simply aren’t enough people, music therapists or otherwise, to sing with everyone who could benefit from it. And that’s true. In fact that’s why I recorded a CD last year of songs people love to sing.<br> <br>But Chris made an important point, one that I thought about again last night when I saw “Alive Inside” for the third time. Yes, they were putting headphones on people, which in and of itself did not create a human connection. But…in every instance, at least in the movie, there <em>was</em> interaction. There was conversation, there was dancing, there were shared smiles, there were shared memories.<br> <br><strong>Listening to music with headphones or on your own can be a beautiful experience and holds real value. However I would argue that it is the human interaction, the awakening and the connection, that music, delivered in any format, offers that is the real benefit. </strong><br> <br>It could be an IPod with a personalized playlist, a CD player with favorite CDs, or a real live person singing or playing. <strong>The <em>intention</em> and the <em>attention</em> required to provide someone with music they love brings the true value because every “method” offers the opportunity to connect. The important thing is to make it available and to use it!</strong><br> <br>After the showing last night a caregiver in the audience commented on how she had spontaneously and routinely sung “You Are My Sunshine” with a woman she cared for who had dementia. She told how even in the woman’s last days, when she was no longer able to speak and largely unresponsive, this woman would mouth the words to the song as her caregiver sang to her. No IPod, no CD player, no music therapist or professional musician required. Just two people using music to stay connected.<br> <br><strong>Can you do something to help bring back the music for seniors?</strong><br> <br><strong>Can you purchase an IPod and set of headphones for someone to use?</strong> (The GT Pavilions in Traverse City, Michigan is piloting this program and welcomes donations. Call Penny Hanks at 231-932-3000. Or donate to <a contents="Music and Memory " data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://musicandmemory.org/">Music and Memory </a>on their website.)<br> <br><strong>Can you make sure your loved one has an easy to use CD player and CDs of music they love?</strong> (Check my Resources page for the best, easy to use Music Player I have found.)<br><br><strong>Can you arrange for a senior sing along or a music visit with me or someone else?</strong><br><strong> <br>Can you sing “You Are My Sunshine” for someone?</strong><br> Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/39251312015-11-15T23:30:00-05:002015-11-17T11:44:10-05:00It's true! You can even ask me!<span class="font_regular">I have a friend who often says, "It's true! You can even ask me."<br><br>I answer, "Is it true?"<br><br>And her reply is always, "Yes! Thanks for asking."<br><br>Here's just a couple of the things I know are true about singing.<br><br>EVERYONE CAN SING! It's as basic as walking and talking. And you can do it anywhere, anytime.<br><br>SINGING RELEASES "HAPPINESS HORMONES". Leading neuroscientists have discovered that "musical bonding" - which singing together surely is - causes the release of "happiness hormones" such as oxytocin and dopamine. Singing and happiness go hand in hand. It's really as simple as that.<br><br>It's true. You can even ask me!<br><br>OK - Want to hear from some other experts about this? Click <a contents="here " data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.ahealthiermichigan.org/2014/08/01/the-healing-powers-of-music/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=AHM&utm_campaign=AHM%20Twitter" target="_blank">here </a></span>for a great article from A Healthier Michigan about The Healing Powers of Music.<br><br> Singing Heart to Hearttag:www.singinghearttoheart.com,2005:Post/39239472015-11-11T09:00:00-05:002017-01-15T21:45:31-05:00The Power of Patriotic Music<p style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;'>As we celebrate Veterans Day this week I am reminded of how important the patriotic songs are for the seniors I sing with. Nothing gets everyone singing more enthusiastically than </span><i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;'>God Bless America, America the Beautiful or My Country Tis of Thee</span></i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;'>. Often the veterans in the group will ask for the songs associated with the branch of the military in which they served – for example </span><i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;'>The Marine Corps Hymn</span></i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;'> or </span><i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;'>Anchors Away</span></i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;'>. No doubt there are powerful and possibly painful memories associated with these rousing pieces of music. They are indeed a perfect illustration of how music impacts our lives by creating community.<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/183024/194c2f80c4e85fcc9d2c5f57018eaa4c63f60e7b/small/differenceopinion.jpg?1447778341" class="size_s justify_right border_none" alt="" /><br> <br>I have never served in the military nor been in a dangerous situation as so many of our veterans have. But I know the power of music to bring us together, to create camaraderie and to lift our spirits when everything around us looks dark. In his book “The World in Six Songs” Daniel J. Levitin describes it this way. “Patriotic songs are a natural extension of the power that music has to define the </span><i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;'>we</span></i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;'>. This is </span><i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;'>our</span></i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;'> country, </span><i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;'>our </span></i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;'>region, </span><i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;'>our</span></i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;'> group, </span><i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;'>our</span></i><span style='color: rgb(96, 96, 96); font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;'> common interest…”<br> <br>And so this week I will be revisiting these songs and giving thanks to our veterans for their service. And I will be holding out hope for a more peaceful world.</span></p>Singing Heart to Heart